Deon's profile
AGE:
20
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 16
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 16
I’ve been writing for a couple of years now, but I just started my first serious project earlier this year. My ultimate aim is to be screenwriter/director, but I want to cut my teeth writing novels first, learn the trade and all that.
Hope you enjoy my stuff…
Items
Version 1
13 Reviews
5 Comments
Alexei smiled. An auburn-haired, voluptuous woman was standing on a stage, clutching a silver microphone with both hands. She had a long, angular face, with high cheekbones and pert, pent-up maroon lips. Her small mouth was open in the shape of a perfect circle, her lips occasionally trembling as she warbled over a series of notes in a sonorous, warming tone. The wild curls of her hair fell about her shoulders, caressing them gently as her head swayed slowly to the rhythm. The multi-coloured...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Dante stared at the vibrating phone in front of him. His writing hand suspended in mid-air, he inhaled slowly and sat upright in his chair, eyeing the machine warily. The phone vibrated again, forcefully spinning itself around in its attempt to attract his proper attention. Dante allowed his left hand to sink to the table. Then, rolling his pen to one side, he picked up his pad and ran his thumb along the ring binder, his gaze fixed. The phone began to flash impatiently, bright blue light co...
Version 3
77 Reviews
21 Comments
Edward Thompson, Daily Telegraph. “What or who is the inspiration for your books?” “Politics, past experiences, anything that provokes a reaction. Also people; people that I’ve met, inspirational people.” “Any in particular?” “You’ll have to work that out from the books.” Orlando drew a finger across his chin, lightly brushing the hairs underneath. He flashed a look at his agent. How long? Leaning against the wall at the back of the room, Alana smiled and held up three fingers. Orlando grima...
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
Mark cursed under his breath. The fuck is she doing? He leant against the open pub door and watched the woman as she took a couple of breaths, presumably to calm herself. For what, though, Mark couldn’t work out. All she was doing was reversing a fucking car. He scrutinized her features: early-twenties, pretty-ish, prim-looking. Driving a red Vauxhall Corsa. Probably a receptionist, he thought to himself. ‘Janine’, as Mark had decided to call her, gave herself one more psychological push, the...
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Reviews
What type of review do you want? It seems as if this story is meant to be a piss-take of sci-fi tomes whose authors take themselves, or the story, too seriously, in your opinion. That's what comes across from the piece. Grammatically, I felt like you perhaps couldn't be bothered to put in transitional description from one scene to another, so the jump between the portagonist - I assume - and Captain Sheer's dalliance to the command center (?) could have been smoother. For me, a sci-fi story u...
66.6667% Review Quality (3 Votes)
Having read Chapter 2 before 1, I can definitely understand the first sentence. Slightly biased, because I'm a firm Tom Stone fan, but it's a resonant line which sets the character up well. "....cursing the morning sun for having the nerve..." It all starts to make sense. Mrs. Attitude. Interesting. (Analysing as I go along.) Her act of tossing the shirt onto the 'dirty' pile. Hugo Boss is a fragrance normally associated with style - it has positive connotations. But because it is connected w...
This is a tightly-controlled, subtle piece. The characterisation of Tom is excellent. When Bill was talking to Tom about the 'cutbacks' I felt as if he was talking to me. Even though, I'd only known him for a few minutes, I felt that Tom's personality, was one with which I could easily empathise. The build-up to the ulktimate decision about the promotion was well-done, also. The elaborate descriptions of the restaurant, the power clothes, Tom's banal thoughts about the fragrance were clever r...
To be honest, I loved this from the mind I saw the symbols at the beginning. The opening paragraph is often a difficult trick to pull off, especially when it comes to portraying different times in the past or future, but you pull it off, excellently. It's brief, but you pour us straight into Nestor's mind and illustrate/translate his thoughts well. The character comes across as a person whom one can quite easily empathise with and, for a protagonist, that is crucial. (I'm reviewing as I go al...
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