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Dk42's profile
AGE:
18
LOC: Campbell, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 03
LOC: Campbell, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 03
We are 2 kids age 14 and 15
we’re named David Karnes/Dylan Petulla
David originally started this so he could submit writing for Dylan, because Dylan was unaware of the site, but David later decided to post his own poetry and other things
enjoy=]
Items
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
Looking back, I can’t think of a reason why it happened. I don’t know if there was a reason. I hate to call it fate. I don’t believe in that. There is not other reason why though. Now there is the gathering. A large group of people sits around a casket. I don’t say much though. I really don’t have that much to say. There are a lot of things that I would ask going back. Its too late for that though. 6:30. Alarm goes off. I need to wake up to face another meaningless day. I step into the shower...
Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
Looking back, I can’t think of a reason why it happened. I don’t know if there was a reason. I hate to call it fate. I don’t believe in that. There is not other reason why though. Now there is the gathering. A large group of people sits around a casket. I don’t say much though. I really don’t have that much to say. There are a lot of things that I would ask going back. Its too late for that though. 6:30. Alarm goes off. I need to wake up to face another meaningless day. I step into the shower...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Fading Seemingly endless tunnel of fear Keeping us blinded and wasting or years Making us fear what we no isn’t real Clouding our ability to feel Watching our memories fade away As we try to keep the hatred at bay They want me to help them, but there’s nothing I can do And through the blackness there is only you Searching for something that I know isn’t there Forgetting that I used to care They lied to me and that is something I can’t get past And I am left here hoping the feeling won’t last
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
Every time I see you I sleep easier, knowing that there is someone cares if I wake up or not. I wish she loved me. The word Love is trite, cheap and a puffed up term used by those who have nothing else to say. Yet my use of it is quite true and I intend it to be true until the day I die. I have never felt this way before. This seemingly euphoric feeling is not as great as it looks. There is always a problem. The decline is what will kill me. This surely cannot last forever, I am too happy. I ...
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
Fading… Staring blankly at the reflection Trying to cope with the rejection Grotesque images swirl through his head And sounds of the scream that could wake the dead The once benevolent ruler who see all but knows none Becomes entwined in the web of lies he has spun His once kind ways have turned toward despise For the people that would cause his demise He sits there quietly hoping its all a dream But then, it comes, the harrowing scream He tires, and ignores his terrible chore But life comes...
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Reviews
once reading the opening sentences i was hooked. That made me want to read on. I don't even know what about the opening was so easy to jump right in to. It didn't leave me feeling as if i was missing something, or cause any confusion good piece, and i willlook for more from you in the future
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i like it even though i didn't read the first parts to it, i enjoyed it. "He let his passions overtake him, giving into to the deep seeded desires" i enjoyed the word choice in that. It impressed me, and i am a sucker for flowery language haha well keep it up
now i don't know why, but this lot me. I understood the opening when you were talking about the magnetism he had. i was able to relate with that. Somewhere when (i think) he was dancing was when i became lost. It may have been word choice, but i am not sure. i understand that he had sex, and crapped the bed. But i was lost for most of it I did enjoy it, i just think you might want to try reading the first sentences yourself a few times, see if it makes sense to you still.
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i really think that something about the opening just lost me. When i read, the opening is what makes or breaks the entire story for me. There are many times when i will abandon reading something all together just because the opening bored me. Now in regard to the rest of the story. I think it may be helpful to find some better way to explain that the story is taking place somewhere that is not on earth. Or forward in time for that matter. while i understand that it may be what you were attemp...
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