Awesome. Rollicking travelogue stuff reminiscent of Kerouac's Big Sur. Attention to detail is great and flow is smooth and fluent. Humourous musings on pop culture and language. Draws the reader in. Scrofulous cad - worthy of the highest British comedic minds. Scrofulous indeed. Non-fiction - now there's a debate - something about the essential subjectivity of lived experience.

I like this piece. The protagonist is genuinely funny at times and displays a complex moral code that raises him above the standard hero character. The simple sentence structures and clear language allow the plot to advance without being bogged down in questions of aesthetic flourish. However, I am confused about the decision to write this in two line paragraphs. Its kind of odd. Makes it feel more like some kind of poem. This aside, there is a great deal of promise here and I would like to s...

This is beautiful. Tactile, atmospheric writing. Deeply romantic stuff.

Vivid, dark imagery. A nightmare? That recurring burnt umber - a painter? A painter mistress?

A thoroughly surprising little piece. The title pulled me in straight away. Offbeat and kind of zen in construction. This is a gem. Nice work.

Nasty, graphic. What is the intention of this piece? Commentary on or participation in aggression and ignorance?

I would say that this piece has a fair chance of being published, as it blends a woman's first hand experience, drawn without sentiment, with real historical events. My only suggestion regards the layout and paragraphing. I would just question whether the short paragraphs accelerate or slow down the pace of reading. The use of letters as a narrative device is inspired and fits well with this kind of project. I hope that more will follow.

Brother in verse. (sister?) Taut, viscous, sublime. I salute you and await further writing.

Neat. Well balanced. But perhaps only fragmentary. It seems that there is a greater world-picture that this piece should fit. It would be interesting to see exactly how this image relates to external events.