Dreamline's profile
AGE:
31
LOC: Kingsville, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: March 31
LOC: Kingsville, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: March 31
A writer, artist, and filmmaker from Texas, Dreamline was originally drawn to storytelling through mixed media in the 1980’s by the sequential storytelling style of comic books.
He has had short fiction, news articles, essays, poetry, and artwork featured in both printed and online national publications, and is the former Editor-in-Chief of Writer’s Bloc Literary Magazine (2000-2002), where he published with such authors as W.D. Snodgrass, Ursula K. LeGuin, and Ray Bradbury.
His work has garnered him mention in the National Dean’s List Who’s Who of 2004, and an Owings Mills Press Editor’s Choice Award for poetry in the same year.
He is currently earning a Bachelor’s Degree in Fine Arts from Texas A&M University, where he also w…
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“Ring-ding” my pocket-watch sings! Four o’clock – it’s time for tea. No cakes or crumpets, no Earl or Lady Grey; just your smile, just your laugh, just your warmth, to help keep the tea that way.
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Combine-oil stains the hands of a blue-collar man. Hands, done digging in dirt for the day, rub the top of my tassels – once as golden as the grain that flakes off my father in the summer season. Now, just oil-stained locks that frame a small, mud-pie face and eyes that glean the same small pleasures at the end of each day: the stains, the dirt, the gold.
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Inch by inch, I savor you and gorge all to often on your sweet, pale skin as I work my way down to the satisfying flavors hidden in your deep center. Nibbling slowly I lose my patience and wrap the whole of you around my mouth granting your prime desire to be devoured in frantic, wet gulps. Lapping up your cream my tongue becomes lost in the taste of pleasure as I finish, and despair. Like the wild animal for which you are named, your stripes remind me of your true colors. If only you loved m...
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Version 2
6 Reviews
4 Comments
“That’s how bears tell!” the boy’s father growled, kicking the scribbles of snow and dirt up into his face. The boy had been toiling over the drawings all morning and winced as he saw them brushed away, back into the earth. “Are you a bear?” the tall huntsman stood leering at his small, squatting son, waiting for a reply. The boy knew this question and knew that there was no correct answer. He replied by turning towards the few cinders of fire remaining in the pile of ash beside him, sulking,...
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Version 1
12 Reviews
3 Comments
Combine oil stains the hands of a blue-collar man. Hands, done digging in dirt for the day rub the top of my tassels golden as the grain flaking off his skin past now oil-stained locks and a mud-pie face to eyes that see the same small pleasures at the end of each day: the stains the dirt the gold.
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I think this is a good start for a query letter. But there are a few things that need strengthening: First off, always open with "Dear Soandso,". Remember that your letter is not random, but is supposed to be directed to a specific agent. I like the start of the first paragraph. However, 2 years of dating really doesn't seem like a long time in comparison to many singles out there, and this solid figure may turn off a knowledgeable agent. And the idea of "snagging" Mr. Right is a little out-d...
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In my experience, "big" words are rarely as effective as simple, small words. After all, if no one can understand you, no one will actually understand how "smart" you are for using big words. As far as your "query", which I don't think has any place in the Query Letter section (since it is not a query letter): I imagine it is because that is what this site is designed to for. :P
Looks like you have the start of a decent letter here, primarily in the structure. A few things: It's best to start your letter with something that really gets the agent's attention. Something, of course, having to do with your manuscript. This is called the "hook". Both the hook and the synopsis (which should be about 4-5 sentences and include prime characters and plot points) should be infused with the style and excitement of your manuscript, to give the agent a true feel for your work. You...
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