Dsevans913's profile

Dsevans913 avatar
AGE: 22
LOC: Tacoma, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 21

I’m derrin, 21/black male/fort lewis, WA.
I’ve been in the Army for about a year now.
Ummm, yeah, that’s about all except death to the status quo, and chivalry is not dead.

and maybe you know me from myspace, www.myspace.com/mandingo913

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Poetry / Succeed
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I wish to never have never had eyes filled with hate Forced to concede and feed at the beckoning in history's wake Surrendering all to the choices I have yet to make I can only opt to wallow amongst the faceless or die You must know my name By now we share the same fate For if not, at the least the same face? Teeth bared in a desperate attempt  To deny what can only be ours with eyes and mouth wide Titled, polished, generalized and unkempt As the beacon shines on our backs through t...
Ratings & Rankings
Novel Treatments / Read Or Die
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
So yeah, I'm military, a soldier, an elite of society if you will, yeah right. Anyway, I'm getting a divorce, it's now official I have 2 baby mamas who cannot support themselves or their own independent decisions to have kids so they're going to drag me kicking and screaming for every dollar I've got. But focus for just a second on this, I'm not mad about the money, and I don't know why, at first money was the most important thing, but now it's not, the most important thing to me was my free ...
Ratings & Rankings
 Plus-button Clarity
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I'm looking for a late night visitor Somebody I can call on any time of the night I'm looking for a late night visitor Somebody to come by and hold me tight I'm looking for a late night visitor Somebody that actually cares about me I'm looking for a late night visitor Yes oh yes that is what I need [Chorus] I'm looking for a late night late night I'm looking for a late night late night I'm wanna have a late night late night I'm gonna have a late night late night [2nd verse] I'm looking for a ...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Porcelain
Version 2
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Once again I have left you within the wrong impression With no failures of exquisite nature to flatter you, As it is only you who may approach misled arrogance In your unphased state of tasteless grace. And does not the fragile white liquid Of melted masks run through your porcelin veins? For you are just another day In my summer of common beauty. Beauty if fulfilled? Alas, it may never be............. Beautiful. For I say unto you now the lost perils Of incoherent romantic nothings That you ...
Ratings & Rankings
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / yeah
Version 2
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I’m laying face down on a ground unknown to me before dragging my hands in with my elbows up as I attempt to press up against my own weight to alleviate the pressure on my lungs. I feel like a dead frog on a cold plate of asphalt. I must have blacked out for a few seconds. I can feel the flesh of my face press-cushioned over loose gravel. With the smell of wet concrete resonating in my nostrils with the quick breath I take in to deal with not the taste but rather the feel of blood pooling in ...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Action Adventure / Rosebushes and Pistols
I never was one for western settings, but this caught my interest over the span of the story. Now, i understand you want your characters to be shadowed and have the reader wondering who they are, but have the villains maybe call each other by name, they should at least have a touch of humanity to them. After all, that's what makes them believable
the transition was a not to sudden, but you didn't do anything to brace the reader for a transition. The aim of transitioning is to keep the reader involved, intrigued and above al interested. Remember that
Action Adventure / Behind Enemy Lines: Chapter Two
no offense, but I feel like I'm playing a different version of halo when I read this. So I mean, is there more. For the most part, this is a good read, the only mistake I can see is when you fail to follow up on the initial reaction of what happens when a character speaks, such as someone wincing when someone cusses. A man comes into a room yelling, his children's eyes go wide, that type of thing. Other then that, keep up the good work
when can i get the hard back copy? this was a very enjoyable read
Favorites

Dsevans913 has no favorites yet.

People