DuchessRaven's profile

DuchessRaven avatar
AGE: 29
LOC: Jackson, MS
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 19

I have just started writing poetry and I am here to see if I am any good at it.

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Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
To quiet the noise, I write.
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Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
A tale in my head, curdling.
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Version 1
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My dreams, on paper, are worse.
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Poetry / America
Version 1
4 Reviews   0 Comments
Tears of anger, Tears of pain. Drowning cities, Crashing planes. War declared on useless dust. Blood shed daily, In God we trust. Fear of death engulfs us all. A mighty nation poised to fall. Christian soldiers cold and numb, march to the beat of scarlet drums.
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Poetry / The Artist
Version 1
5 Reviews   0 Comments
With every gaze in my direction, a needle pierces my heart. Is it possible that you enjoy causing me pain? As if I don't curse myself daily for the wrong turn my heart took, leading me into the very depths of Hell. Into fires so hot, my tears evaporate before they reach my cheeks. Your imagination is shocking. The many creative ways you find to hurt me seems an art. The way you sculpture my pain. Twisting my heart in ways that defy human endurance, forcing my soul to mimic the darker shades o...
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Short Story / Jamie
Locked
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / On The Tap
Locked
Poetry / Guitar Lessons
This poem just got better as it went on. The imagery is very nice and I loved the last part so much I kept reading it over and over. "You were a soldier even Before the Desert" I am so loving this part. I may be wrong about this but I would have used "through its hollow wooden body" Instead of "In". The "Bullied" line I just could not feel and the end of the line seemed too simple and well kinda out of place, however the line before it was great. In the end Bravo!! Thanks for the read.
I do not see anything wrong with the writing itself(a few grammer errors maybe) but the problem lay with content. I mean I got that the main character wanted to be left alone but also wanted to get out of the house. Ok...so where is this going? It is not interesting in the least. However, you have talent. The imagery in the beginning was good and the dialogue was believable, it was just boring. Nothing actually happened and there was no leading up to anything happening. I think with a good su...
I just have to say that this made me smile. I see nothing wrong and I love the part about grass being found in a tree. I actually have a tree in my yard with grass and a flower growing in the y section of it. I found it strange and nice just like this poem. This piece lends feeling and imagery. I hope that is clear. Anyway Bravo!
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Short Story / Jamie
Haiku/Senryu / Seventh Haiku--Life

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