Dylan's profile
AGE:
18
LOC: Minneapolis, MN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 30
LOC: Minneapolis, MN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 30
Hi! I’m Dylan! I’m currently 16 years old and in high school. In my spare time I like to sketch, play with my chihuahua, talk to friends, and hang out. I also play 6 instruments: Piano, Guitar, Violin, cello, harmonica, and drums. I compose my own music. I also like to write stories and poems as you can tell.
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Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
This boy named Travis is a descendent of John the Baptist (but he doesn't know it yet), the anti-Christ is about to emerge from hell but in order to do so the blood of one of Christ's disciples must be spilled. The anti-Christ practically sends the whole army of Hell itself after Travis to kill him. In order to prevent this from happening, Travis must shed a little of his blood where Christ was crucified. God sends a guardian angel to protect Travis and help him get from the U.S.A. all the wa...
Version 1
7 Reviews
0 Comments
Life What is life exactly? This question has been asked for years. To me life is like a dream, when you die you awaken on the crossroad between Heaven and Hell. “If life is like a dream, couldn’t we do whatever we wanted to?” My friend asked me this and I replied, “Not exactly. If everyone did what they wanted to do, this dream would turn into a nightmare. In this dream though, there can be consequences when you awake.” That day my friend looked at life in a much more ‘in-depth’ way.
Version 1
6 Reviews
0 Comments
A Wolf by Dylan King March 16 2006 I am a wolf without its pack. I wonder if anyone will accept me for who I am. I hear people talking behind my back, as if afraid I might hear them. I see people walking past me without even a glance; like prey whom doesn't want to be seen. I want to be noticed, to be accepted! I am a wolf without its pack. I pretend like everything is fine when it's not. I feel like I'm walking in a winter wasteland without a soul in sight. I touch my chest, feeling the pain...
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Reviews
I thought it was very good. It was able to put the reader into the book so it makes them feel like they are there. Great job on the emotions of the characters as well. You did well on establishing the emotion of love between the two characters. Here are the things I would suggest fine-tuning: Where it says "Mikell froze." I would change to something like "Mikell froze instantly." In part 1 where it says “It’s o-okay I’m not hurt,” she said. I would suggest having her stutter on the "It's" ins...
Great job, I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter! Great use of words and details, the only thing I suggest is proof read it before putting it on here so you can fix the typos. I'm actually beginning to write a book myself. I might not put it on here though because I don't want people to copy it and claim it as their own. I do think that this story has the potential of being published. I hope you find an agent!
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Very good, nice use of vocabulary as well. The only thing I would suggest is go into the emotions a little more and maybe use some synonyms here and there.
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