Stanza1-Stanza6 are all sentence fragments, while the rest are complete sentences; be consistent. I think it would only help the poem to use proper sentence structure (as well as punctuation) throughout. [Example: "...bull[,] / [a] child [is] born, destined to wander."] I expected something more literally about the Minotaur of mythology, but you appear to be merely alluding to said Minotaur as a metaphor for an actual person, as Diana was not his mother, nor did he build his own labyrinth. I ...

"and the purple" -> either begin a new sentence, or substitute "as" for 'and', to relate them more directly to each other. Stanza2 - You might be overdoing it with all the Sesame Street characters; the rest of the poem seems more random than this stanza. "great head" -> period. "marries" -> with two subjects (Neverland and Fantasia), it should be "marry". Much of the sentence structure is muddy throughout. Taking the last stanza as an example, some punctuation is required at the end ...

Line 2 -> semicolon or dash "Like nothing" -> not really, right? I mean, in the next line you compare it to "gelatinous goops" (plural?). That just irks me. After all, does nothing lie? The second stanza seems to be the only one lacking in rhyme. "And there / Ways." -> *their* "Scoop up, / [and] Pitch you" The last two stanzas are sentence fragments. The penultimate can be easily repaired by removing one or two "-ing" suffixes. The last stanza would require more work, but I think it'...

The first stanza is vague, and a little cheesy. I think you can cut it. "slip, tight in my curls." -> ambiguous; I think no comma and "into" would be clearer, unless I'm misjudging your intention. :) Love your use of "guttered". "Mouth unclosed"... it seems like an overly complex way to say it, but after thinking about it, it's actually just more precise. Very nice. :) Stanza 3 -> I'd make that all one sentence; right now, the first is a fragment. "in the other room," -> comma splice...

"(onions and cheese..." I think this would be funnier if you showed us the sene of him actually _in_ the taco joint explaining this. As it is, it's a bit random. Could you put his thoughts in italics? "spam message. “Congratulations!" -> colon instead of period. "Weeks passed." -> as he "pondered reliable employment"? -> maybe a row of asterisks would work better, or 'A few weeks later...'. "Frantic knocking at the door." -> sentence fragment "and then, jerking the door" -> I'd...

"second thoughts" -> it seems like one singular second 'thought' there to me. Solzhenitsyn died in August, not March. Not that it really matters. ;) Last line -> I'd phrase the second sentence "Neither have any relation..." for variety's sake. Fun stuff here, Harold! I honestly don't see why, given the ridiculous nature of this novel, you couldn't use all three opening chapters, with introduction and critiques, and then discuss the advantages and drawbacks of each chapter - all as the a...

A very bleak poem. Nice! I think it would only help illustrate the point if you extended this, actually writing out the repetition, with small variations, then finally ending with the "repeat / repeat" (why not one more 'repeat'?). That would illustrate the endless monotony in one more way, right? Drag it out in all its tedious glory for us! ;) The rhyming that crept in toward the end was well done. Good work. :)

"!!!" - I like it. Funny. :) "And then they dulled, and ..." -> I'd remove the first 'And'. "Distracted by his emotion, he snatched my needler." - He was distracted? Or you were? "Shaking a fist-full..." this ends up being a sentence fragment. "the face of Meatspace" -> is Meatspace a planet? Or a region of space (with no real 'face') I thought 'Moop' was the planet's name.? "Lightening struck" -> *Lightning* you do this again later too "...the lightening that scored..." Rubik’s Cube...

This is quite a lovely story. The dialogue, pacing and charachters are all done well. Just some minor proofreading errors, but there are a lot of them... "her sister, Laney" -> no comma "hefted the bucket’s" -> no apostrophe "in here she told her sister, Laney.”" -> in here," she told Laney. (you already explained that Laney was her sister) "that It" -> capital? "mama" -> should be capitalized when used as a name "would as usual take out her frustrations" -> I'd cut 'as usua...

Interesting twist. :) I think you could spend a bit more time describing your 'typical' time in the dark well, before introducing the atypical occurrence of the will-o'-the-wisp. You might also consider being a bit more descriptive. Paint a picture of the darkness for us. What does it smell like? Some interesting sensual cues could make this a more potent poem. As it is it's primarily abstract, with little physical description. Somewhat darkly humourous. Interesting - keep it up! :)