I thought that the first sentence was awkward; I had to stumble over it a few times to get it. I am no agent, but I know that they read a lot of query letters and if I was in the same position and the first sentence was an issue for me, I would be immediately be reaching for your SASE. My suggestion: Facilitate OR accommodate; pick one. Is your story “Heartwarming” or “Empowering” or “Uplifting”? It seemed from reading the letter that if you highlighted a few of it’s more upbeat features that...

I think that this world you are building has an excellent skeleton. The basic framework seems to be there, but I think that the story may be served better if you add some flesh to the bones. I think that you had the beginning of something when you began to describe the city and what it was like; I think however that you need more details. I am assuming that you want this world to be a surprise to the reader, and that’s part of the fun of it, but you can describe it a bit without really tellin...

I like the idea of the beginning of this story. It is something that "I would continue to read. However I think that there is a lot of editing that needs to be done on this piece. Some sentences have run-on qualities that should be divided up. Example: They probably saw me as a son shunned from society, the bastard child of a young, fifteen-year-old girl who wasn’t ready for the responsibility she had taken upon herself, like all the other slum rats. This might serve as the story better as se...

I like what you had to say, even though I do not like how you said it. But it doesn't matter if I like it or not, as you mentioned. So that is really not the point, weather I liked what you said. The point is that it would have been better if you had not written in incomplete thoughts. This topic is worthy or your attention and your efforts. Your voice here needs to be heard. However when you let each idea trail off... Your power is lost when you use the "..." punctuation. Ellipsis I think it...

This was powerful. I can not speak to the emotion behind it as I have not experienced any thing as traumatic as incest or pedophilic rape. However, I have gained a sense desperation and physical revulsion around what the author has scribed here. I think this was well written, clear in form and function. On a stylistic note, I would have liked to seen a little more imagery of the repetitiveness of the crime. I understood that it was happening every night, but I need to feel it. Overall a well ...

Is the poem a cathartic tool in exorcizing the demon of “You” – or - is it an extension of the authors obsessive need for “You”? That seems to be the main question around this poem and I found that it is in the not answering the question is where the power lies. The author writes about being treated poorly and without respect or consideration by “You” The author then continues to drean about “You” as if in some need to be treated in such away. This is where the conflict lies. I think that the...

First of all I am not a poet critique, I’m just some dude. So please keep that in mind when you read this. I liked the way you used the short intro to describe the angry dad, the brooding mother and their marriage. Short and concise. I would have liked to get more of and in-depth perspective on how the child felt other than fear and mimicry. Good one, keep it up. EC

First of all I am not a poet critique, I’m just some dude. So please keep that in mind when you read this. I had difficulty trying to give these words meaning to me. It seems to me that there is drug addled sex that results in pregnancy and then abandonment of a kind. I am not sure what you meant by some of the lines and at first read I though “WTF Mate?” After a few additional reads I began to pick up on some images that explained a bit more of what the work could have been about. There are ...

I'd like to think that a writter lives one life, while documenting thousanends, but I totaly see your point. Good insight, keep it up! EC