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ElleEst's profile
AGE:
23
LOC: Ephrata, WA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 26
LOC: Ephrata, WA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 26
I have lived at twelve different addresses during my life. I have been writing poetry since third grade, and stories since fifth grade (both at my sixth address). I currently live in New York. I have met many different and diverse people in that time, and they all have influenced me and given me inspiration for writing.
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In a townhouse in New York, full pop cans lay, gathering dust that falls down through the air, air that shouldn't have dust, and it recieves frowns from the face of a man with nothing to say to the cans. In uptown there's a cab waiting, but this is his house, his dust, his cans, and his brown leather chair, neat, unused, so he'll stay. He dare not sit on the chair, nor drink the pop on the counter. They will not be as they used to, and they are so well preserved. If a spot - he looks up in ho...
Version 1
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That wasn't me crying at midnight to the melodramatic hum of Beethoven, wishing to paint the eyes of a vanishing smile. Lips parted, hair messed, panic riding up on cheeks grown pale, as I search for pink to make them come alive. They whisper forest words in vain ears, those eyes, to the sounds of midnight engulfed in streetlight in D minor.
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Your love is like the molasses you use to make cookies. Dark and gooey, it pours slowly, sticking to everything, the bowl, the spoon, your fingers, and your rings that you forgot to take off before baking, covered in flour already, now a sweet, goopy mess. You take a taste of it, and it coasts your throat all the way down. The love in the jar won't go bad, but when you're done you cleanse the rim with hot water, wiping all the excess off so you can put the lid back on and shelve it in the cup...
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Let ink to paper flow Sliding on smooth and slow Rhyme and tale; joy and woe Let the ink to paper flow Let the ink to paper fly Bringing all emotions nye Author's laugh; author's sigh Let the ink to paper fly Let the ink to paper crash Words against your sense lash Every comma, every dash Let the ink to paper crash
Version 1
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Here's your little wax candle, see it burn? It's bright, full of light, and all the world turns to see it flickering. It's the light of sorrows and delight and it rises higher to shine through the night. But its got flame at both edges, and your candle grows hot, slowly melting into nothing, while pretending its not. See the flame burn lower. Its a candle on a shelf. Who needs much light when its only yourself? Yes, hide that candle sot that no one can see; I've been watching it flicker in fa...
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I love the image painted by the words you use, the way your rhythm molds the words into a song in the reader's mind as they read. It is a song that is captivating, and yet vague. I begin to grasp as the meaning, and then I find that the poem is over and I'm not 100% sure what I heard/saw. The art in your poem is fantastic; the clarity needs some work.
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This is very well written, and even though I have not read the other chapters, I seemed to be able to pick up and just read it, which is amazing. I congratulate you. The one point I think you could improve on was when you said "Together, they convinced the Queen of this need, who in turn sent for Ryzza and her own son." I would've loved to have heard this conversation instead of hearing about it in passing. Otherwise, very good. I wish I was able to read the rest.
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