Very good. I like the transition between looking at the snowglobe as everyone else would've and slowly morphing it into something sad and slightly sinister. If I could offer one critique it would be that the lines "And that might be a death grip rather than a loving clasp." seem a bit sudden, and the transition to them is not enough to stop the jarring effect.

This is a very weak pun. Its a bit of a nonsequiter, and it would be enormously improved if it was switched around and made a statement instead of a question. My suggestion is to phrase it "less recks, the more reckless", of course more polished than that...

This is beautifully constructed, and I love the norse mythology in there. The thought that ends "stand forth" is very strong. I am wondering a little if the change in font size was meant by you. If so, it does bring an interesting bring an interesting twist to it, which is not unpleasant. Still, I think that it could be improved with a little infusion of standard rhythm, because the lines that rhyme are often wildly different in length which sometimes makes it more difficult to scan. I do lov...

I think you have to specify here what "that" is. "That easily lost" depends on what you're talking about.

I like the ending where it says "emptiness, empty nest", however, I think that the line above it that ends in "not" is a little awkward. I'd suggest rewriting that line.

I think that the one weak point of the poem is the second to last stanza. The ideas flow well, but the rhythm gets out of sink right there, and it could be improved. Overall, though, good job. I can see why it was published.

My suggestion for the last line would be to put in a line break after speed so that it reads: Thoughts rolling with the speed of verses sung. I think that it would connect with the way you break the lines above better if you did it that way.

this is very beautiful. I guess my two criticisms would be that the repeat of "white" in the line "of sugar-tossed white" seemed repetitious and awkward and that ending with the color gray seems to repeal the perfect, pure world you built with the poem. still, though, very good.

This is very well written, and even though I have not read the other chapters, I seemed to be able to pick up and just read it, which is amazing. I congratulate you. The one point I think you could improve on was when you said "Together, they convinced the Queen of this need, who in turn sent for Ryzza and her own son." I would've loved to have heard this conversation instead of hearing about it in passing. Otherwise, very good. I wish I was able to read the rest.

I love the image painted by the words you use, the way your rhythm molds the words into a song in the reader's mind as they read. It is a song that is captivating, and yet vague. I begin to grasp as the meaning, and then I find that the poem is over and I'm not 100% sure what I heard/saw. The art in your poem is fantastic; the clarity needs some work.