EllePepper's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: Fresno, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 01
LOC: Fresno, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 01
Elle Pepper is a recently published author on Starving Writers Press. (Www.starvingwritersbooks.com) Or you can contact her at her website
www.freewebs.com/ellepepper
Items
Version 3
4 Reviews
7 Comments
As I sat silently in the passenger seat of the car I usually drove, I knew what Tessio must have felt on his last, long ride. In a situation like this, even a five-minute ride was long. The man beside me, trusted compatriot, friend--and my executioner didn’t speak. His mind was probably full of many of the same thoughts mine was. Come la scopata è venuto a questo? I mulled that over for a moment. To be truthful, I had been greedy. I had tried to take what was not mine to h...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 2
3 Reviews
8 Comments
Honor Among Thieves As I sat silently in the passenger seat of the car I usually drove, I knew what Tessio must have felt on his last, long ride. In a situation like this, even a five-minute ride was long. The man beside me, trusted compatriot, friend--and executioner didn’t speak. His mind was probably full of many of the same thoughts mine was. How the fuck did it come to this? I mulled that over for a moment. To be truthful, I had been greedy. I had tried to take what w...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Curtis stood at the invisible boundary of Triada, unmoving. Only the simple fact that he was standing gave any proof that he was still alive. His blue eyes were glowing, but half-closed, blood ran from his nose and ears. This was the point to which Drenton had pointed earlier in the day. “Control, this is team one, we have a burn out.” The Ground Patrol team approached slowly, almost certain that he was too burnt out to move: almost. They had seen Units in this condition before...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
“It isn’t safe for you to stay here Curtis.” Drenton patted the young boy on the back and turned him toward the large blast doors that looked onto the snowy expanse outside Triada. It was an unforgiving place that he was going to have to send the child he considered his son. But this was the only chance the boy had at avoiding Dickenson’s destroy order. Thomas Drenton tried to force tears out of his green eyes. The hallway was bare of anything except one small compute...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
2 Reviews
5 Comments
>>REMEMBER >>EVE Curtis opened his eyes, not sure if he was awake or asleep. The world around him was blurred, two pairs of blue eyes looked down at his own, and a small, warm hand patted him on the face. “Daisy, he can’t play right now.” The voice was worried, and bore the hint of a long-dead accent. It was British, Curtis’ brain helpfully told him. A pair of beautiful gold eyes appeared near the two pairs of blue ones. The soft baritone held the hint of...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
This is not a proper synopsis give us more sizzle and less talk. For instance. Neal Archer, a down-on his luck Retired Marine now working private intelligence for a think tank stumbles on to.... and go from there. Keep the word length of a synopsis to between 200-500 words. And don't tell us, give us some dialogue. It sounds like an interesting premise but this doesn't showcase your writing talent. Give this as much thought as you do the book and it will sell itself.
This is a very good start. I think what is needed is just some tightening, it lacks some emotional punch, but mostly because there is no sense of place. Even if I had a little more description I think I would be happy. I actually like this I'm not generally for things of this type but I found this to be a pleasant surprise, are you planning to revise this at all, if so, I would be interested in re-reading this. Over all it just needs tightening of the word choice, make the 'voice' stronger.
wiry notebook--wire bound? wiry has the connotation of thin and underfed. II. is that a double-drop? is that a chapter heading? if it is, set it off with a double drop... II. The Choice blend.... waists- always singluar... her waist. ok, yeah set off your section heading... III. Main street... Son-of-a-bitch... it is usually used like that. I think the reason people complain about the c word is that it seems out of character and out of context. You also need to get us from the bridge to the o...
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
