I thought this was a very good story. You used amazing detail that created a perfect picture in my mind of the scene.I saw nothing really wrong with it but there were some sentences that i had to read a little more to understand but other than that is was great suspencfull story.

I understand where your trying to go with it. I think it is a great begining to a great poam. I agree that is a work in progress, but it sounds good so far. Maybe you can go into more detail about the hunt for "Tom" and describe how he looks, describe how he taste. There is many different directions you can go with this poam but it is a wonderful start

I like this quote, its the kind of quote me and others kind of live by you know, "if you don't try as hard as you can, how do you know you can't do it" Nicely done!

I think this is a great poam. I go through the same exact thing with friends and you descibe exactly how i feel about it. Nicely Done!

I think this poam is moving and I think that everyone in life goes through this stage where you feel like you are just stranded with no options until you just give up control to him and you discribed it well. I liked it!

I think you really discribe the love for a person well. The second line"what i see is my lover's heart staring back at me" doesn't flow very well with the first line it rhymes but doen't flow. But other than that nicely done!