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F_A_Trueman's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 17
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 17
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Version 1
9 Reviews
6 Comments
September 4th 1915 Dear Diary, 4:00pm After hours of ceaseless marching we’ve finally nearly arrived at our destination. We’ve just gotten on the train. Apart from it being unsanitary, it’s overcrowded as well, but that can’t be helped and we’ll be there soon. The base camp in Etaples was pretty hard going, but our regiment pulled through. We just kept the exciting thought of being in the front-line in our minds and we managed to forget how difficult the training was. I’m sure it won’t be as ...
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Version 1
8 Reviews
8 Comments
The Beautiful Man "Arigato." Thanks. I couldn't think of anything more intelligent to say. I lay on the couch, writhing, the both of us palm in palm, and eventually fell asleep from the exhaustion of crying. Tears had hardly ever met my cheeks. I had seldom cried as a baby, even less as a toddler. No - that's a lie. I cried a normal amount, as much as can be expected, maybe even a little more than that. Actually, an awful lot. The crying only really stopped when my dad died, and that's when t...
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This is quite and interesting idea. I like how you put all of them together, because they are still relevent enough to work as a group. I particularly picked out a couple of lines that stood out more: "When were you last first... when were you first last.". I really like those, they're very thought provoking. I'm sure a lot of people will agree because we all meet someone like that at some point. One thing - you used punctuation after "Awake hibernals!" but nowhere else as far as I can see. I...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I really envy your imagination. MODUnits is a great idea - it's easy to see from reading your story that you really thought this through: about all the things they can do, the origin of the name and other such things. You write with great sophistication and fluidity and I hope to see more from you soon. I liked your use of dialogue. The way that you used just enough to break up the prose without making it seem like this should be a film or a play or something. It really is very well written. ...
I read the other parts to see if it was something I'd be interested in and I found myself drawn in by your story. One question, though: have you every considered writing a screenplay or theatrical piece instead? It's just that you use so much dialogue overall, it may be more suited to your style. It's not a criticism by any means, just a suggestion. I don't knwo if you've ever written anything of sort before. It might be fun to try turning this into something like that for a comparison. Anywa...
I think that this is the sort of poetry best kept to oneself. Either that or you need to make it less obscure so as not to exclude the reader. It just feels as if it's a personal piece of writing and so it will obviously make sense to you but maybe not to others. To me certainly it came across very abstract and seemed to go nowhere in particular. I'm NOT criticising the way you write. It sounds nice and flows well but there was no idea that I was left with at the end to think about.
You write with great fluidity and elegance, making your writing a pleasure to read. You also have this way of writing a sort of... pitiful humour. I mean, like when Taterhead is buying egg cartons and the woman assumes that he is totally stupid. It's so moving because I'm sure lots of people have been in the same situation but it's got a light humour to it somehow, can't explain why. Maybe it's BECAUSE everyone goes through it. Anyway, the presence your skill is undoubtable. It was an interes...
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