It's always difficult to pass judgement on people like you. There's just nothing to criticise. Or at least that's what I think. You write with such fluidity and confidence and it's really enjoyable to read. It's something that most people, at some point in their life will wish they had because they're going through the same situation as the people that this is aimed at. I love the sort of sardonic off-hand way that you write yet still manage to be funny and likable through your words. Anyway,...

I like how you're so honest about everything. You also explain things really well. I mean, things that are difficult for someone who hasn't led your lifestyle to understand, such as what exactly 4-H is. You explain so clearly and concisely that it's easy to understand and read. May I just point out that you wrote 4=H as opposed to 4-H once, I think. Just thought it would be something you might want to know. Anyway, nice work, I really enjoyed reading it.

I love WWI and WWII (in this case) poetry. The structure you used is simply brilliant - how it's all stop-start and divided, like the lives of so many lost and their families.

If you want help with spelling, all I have to say is that the title is missing a "g" and that the other little mistakes here and there can be easily rectified. I found it a bit confusing, to be honest. However if you want to take the time to explain it to me I'll be more than happy to comment. Apart from the whole missing the point of story thing... I think it's quite well written which is why i finished reading it at all. I think maybe I just missed something essential somewhere in there.

You'd think that this would be hard to follow and in the wrong category because of all the dialogue, but it's not. You pulled it off really well and it makes for an interesting story. Because it's fantasy, obviously some parts don't make sense in our sense of reality but you made your characters part of your own fantasy world and so it worked really well in the end. I'd like to see more from you soon.

You write with great fluidity and elegance, making your writing a pleasure to read. You also have this way of writing a sort of... pitiful humour. I mean, like when Taterhead is buying egg cartons and the woman assumes that he is totally stupid. It's so moving because I'm sure lots of people have been in the same situation but it's got a light humour to it somehow, can't explain why. Maybe it's BECAUSE everyone goes through it. Anyway, the presence your skill is undoubtable. It was an interes...

I think that this is the sort of poetry best kept to oneself. Either that or you need to make it less obscure so as not to exclude the reader. It just feels as if it's a personal piece of writing and so it will obviously make sense to you but maybe not to others. To me certainly it came across very abstract and seemed to go nowhere in particular. I'm NOT criticising the way you write. It sounds nice and flows well but there was no idea that I was left with at the end to think about.

I read the other parts to see if it was something I'd be interested in and I found myself drawn in by your story. One question, though: have you every considered writing a screenplay or theatrical piece instead? It's just that you use so much dialogue overall, it may be more suited to your style. It's not a criticism by any means, just a suggestion. I don't knwo if you've ever written anything of sort before. It might be fun to try turning this into something like that for a comparison. Anywa...

I really envy your imagination. MODUnits is a great idea - it's easy to see from reading your story that you really thought this through: about all the things they can do, the origin of the name and other such things. You write with great sophistication and fluidity and I hope to see more from you soon. I liked your use of dialogue. The way that you used just enough to break up the prose without making it seem like this should be a film or a play or something. It really is very well written. ...

This is quite and interesting idea. I like how you put all of them together, because they are still relevent enough to work as a group. I particularly picked out a couple of lines that stood out more: "When were you last first... when were you first last.". I really like those, they're very thought provoking. I'm sure a lot of people will agree because we all meet someone like that at some point. One thing - you used punctuation after "Awake hibernals!" but nowhere else as far as I can see. I...