Fallstar's profile

Fallstar avatar
AGE: 17
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 14

I’m a student in East Sussex, England, and I also write articles and short stories in my spare time.

I have a few items published across a range of media.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Romance / Love a Rockstar
Version 1
7 Reviews   3 Comments
I was in love with a rockstar once. We were both young, and wild, and – well, we weren't especially innocent. Neither of us had a proper family, or a steady stream of money. My Dad worked in a petrol station, in the night shift. His was dead. He was very thin, was my rockstar. He had blonde hair, too long and not washed enough. I used to amuse myself by running my fingers through it, and untangling the knots. His eyes were blue, quite shockingly so, and he had a face very handsome indeed. And...
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Version 2
1 Review   0 Comments
Chapter 3: Indiana, Chocolat and An Inappropriate Farmer Indiana was watching a movie when Kyle got back. Kyle entered the room, and looked in awe at the wall. Sixty-Four different screens, all making up one big picture. Indiana looked round at the door opening. “Ah, Kyle! You’re back. Did you see her?” “Yeah, eventually.” Kyle replied, walking up to the sofa. “What’d she say?” “Oooh, Okay, then. Also, she took your gift.” “Good, very good.” “She gave me something for you, too.” Indiana’s fac...
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Version 2
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Chapter 1: The Captain Of NI “Ah, Mr Fallstar. Good morning. Do sit down.” “Thanks.” Indiana sat down on the rather uncomfortable chair, facing the director. “I remember…you’re here for the captaincy? “Obviously.” “Yes. Okay, let’s have a look at your record…” The man looked over the first sheet of the many-paged record. In paper, Indiana noted. “Well, Captaincy recommendation? From Sergeant Vogue…very good. That shines well on you. Next…hmmm.” Indiana braced himself for the next bit. “It app...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Streetwaltzing
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
Katie slung her jacket on, and stole a last look around the room. Nothing she particularly needed doing right now; she was free to go. She left the room, and ventured into the corridor outside. Grey walls and graffiti assaulted her eyes, along with a possibly dead tramp near the end. She shied away from him, and started to climb down the stairs. She reached three floors below, and found the lift. The lifts, to safe on budget costs, only opened on every tenth floor. This was a minor disappoin...
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Version 2
3 Reviews   0 Comments
Love and Care First scene is of an old people's home. Several are sitting around in soft chairs, maybe with newspapers or knitting. Gentle music is playing, but everyone looks bored. Old Woman: Dear Father Christmas... Music quietens a little, and the stage darkens. Spotlight on (floating letter?). Old Woman: I'm afraid I haven't written to you much. As a kid, I used to believe so much...(pause) it's sad when you realise the truth about you. When you get to my age, you can look back with a sm...
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Reviews
Novel Treatments / Seeking Saturn
This is one of the better pieces of work I've seen on here for a while. Your writing style is interesting, easy to read and drags you in well. It starts a bit slowly - a wise idea in writing is never start with a story-telling flashback. Action first, or you get bored. Not to say it's boring - this is definitely an interesting piece. There is definite character and a good story so far. I like Quasar, she reminds me of myself a fair bit. There is definitely a good description of the characters...
Poetry / Under the bed
I really liked this poem. Usually I just skip over 99% of the poetry on here, but this one was good. Really hits home for people. I like the rhyming style, and for consctruction it's all good; no awkward amounts of syllables or bad rhynes. Minor thing wrong (and wrong with alot of poetry) is punctuation. If you had none, or if you had enough of it, it'd be fine. But you have some lines that have it and some that don't. Make everything regular and it'll be much better. But good writing. Keep i...
This was a really, really saddening story. I loved it. You really get the whole illness thing. It's repeated, but not overly much - just enough to remind you that it's there. And there's bits where you repeat key points through several parts, and that really makes them stand out. I think using someone else to question a relationship between people is great. This gives it this better air, because even the characters are undecided yet. This lets the reader think and guess alot easier. Admittedl...
I liked this screenplay very much. You've really got the knack of all the right stage directions, the dialogue and all. All the short flashes, Evie's nightmares and such, are all very effective. They give it a kind of quick, panicky feel, similar to what 12-year-old Evie would feel. The whole Catholic atmosphere, and Evie's protests all fit very well. The language is right for a 12-year-old (why? why? why?), maybe except for the vey end. I think for it to really work, you still need a lighter...