FireflyDreams's profile

I thoroughly enjoyed this. Absolutely no complaints.

I like your use of descriptive words. I had trouble finding the flow of the words, but thats just me. I like poetry to flow. I understand not all poetry should. I liked it over all, very well writen.

This has definite potential! I really liked it over all. It could use some more detail when describing the places: they psychiatrists office and the apartment especially. You could have decribed everything from the front door, wether or not it was a locked apartment building to the way the lobby looked, to her entry door, the kitchen, you left out a lot of detail! You also said towards the end that she laid down on a couch but that she was asleep the minute her head touched the pillow. Which ...

The message radiated with me so that was nice. I loved the opening! "Early in the morning, As the sun breaks the horizon, I sense you sitting near me." However, after that it was difficult reading with no concrete rhythm or stanza format. I would personally love to see this reworked so that it flowed off the tongue when you read it out aloud. However, if that is not your wish then maybe you should think about reformating it into a more modern prose? JMHO, take it for whats it worth.