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Fragyl's profile
AGE:
35
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 27
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 27
I’m serious about writing. I can take criticism without taking it personally. I will do the best I can to dole out my own criticism responsibly. On the other hand, I am a goofball in real life, so my sarcasm may get the best of me….
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Version 1
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I like Valentines Day, I really do. But I only like it with my friends and family--ironically enough. Friends and families usually say or get you the funniest or 'just what you wanted' stuff and follow up with the mood you are in or uplift you from the mood you were in. I don't really expect much from friends and family, therefore when you get things or are verbally acknowledged, it is sooo nice. I find that Valentines Day with that special someone isn't all that great. Maybe it's just me, wh...
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Version 2
9 Reviews
0 Comments
The Last Letter (Prologue) My Darling Amore, I’m writing you a letter you will never be able to read. I suppose. Do people who die get to read their last letters? How well I remember every moment we had together. Is it a curse or a blessing to recall these things so vividly in my minds eye? I miss you desperately. I even miss the moments in which you drove me especially crazy. I miss all the anger that tore us to pieces. I miss how effortless it was to love you through it all. I saw you in my...
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Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
In my dreams I can walk on water So that I am able To watch you as you sleep In my dreams I can banish your nightmares So that you are able To rest with a deep peace In my dreams I can hear all your worries So that I am able To ease all your distress In my dreams You can feel all my love So that you are able To walk with confidence In my dreams You can feel my arms around you So that you are able To leave behind your loneliness In my dreams We are side by side So that we are able To merge our...
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Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
Half my soul is taken You are gone gone gone Your eyes, a brilliant aquamarine in Which I would drown in More breathtaking than any exotic beach With smooth white sands They are closed in sleep forever Half my heart is frozen You are cold cold cold Your lips, full and warm with devastating passion They would cause the world to stop turning And time to stand still They shall never smile at me again My passion is dead You are still still still Your hands, soft and strong with artistic beauty Th...
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Version 1
9 Reviews
4 Comments
The Last Letter (Prologue) My Darling Amore, I’m writing you a letter you will never be able to read. Well, at least I think so. Do people who die get to read their last letters? I wish I could say this to you in person. I wish I had taken back that last discussion. How well I remember every moment we had together. Is it a curse or a blessing to recall these things so vividly in my minds eye? I miss you desperately. I even miss the moments in which you drove me especially crazy. I miss all th...
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I know you said that it was not necessary to critique this. So, what I really want to do is say, "Wow!" You obviously have a great to say on this matter. If it isn't to personal, may I ask how you arrived at these conclusions? Has it been your experience to edit peoples books for a living? Do you know someone that has? Have you many published works in which experience is your voice of reason? I'm just curious because you are very specific on the kind of things that will or won't be published....
I really do love the title of this short story. It is original and interesting, grabbing a potential readers attention. You have a great dialogue going between the characters. You can get a real good sense of the personality of the narrator. However, though you give a fleeting description of Jenny(wife of the narrator), you do not give any description of the narrator. This detracts from the story. It's like trying to relate to a black shadow. This is a really great story overall, even though ...
This haiku poem is simple, elegant and beautiful. Simple as in not flowery, not as in simpleton. I really like this haiku poem. I love the kind of imagery you have used to make this haiku.
Very interesting and thought provoking blog. It did make me stop and think about my own religious background. (Which I won't bore you with!LOL) These questions were thoughts I used to debate with my youth group leaders when I was 15 to 17. Thanks so much for sharing this topic. It has definitely brought back some memories.
First I'll put the things I think you might change or work on. I wonder if you meant to use the word 'bombs' instead of 'bonds'. If you did or didn't it threw me off. I had to re-read that part a couple of times to get into the direction of the poem. Mostly the rhythm of this poem flows great. However, there are parts of this poem that don't gel, as far as the rhythm goes. There is punctuation in this poem that needs to be adjusted or changed. I'd hate for any reader to get distracted and ann...
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