FrumpBurger's profile

AGE: 26
LOC: Chatsworth, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 10

Love and respect you itren and protect your little sistren, and the same shall return to you, my friend. I said don’t fight against no colour class or creed for on discrimination does violence breed. I said we are all in a one and on in all, so throw away the guns and the war’s all gone; throw away the hunger and the war’s all gone; throw away the fighting and the war’s all gone; throw away the grudges and war’s all gone.

C’mon you roots, you radicals, you rock to the reggae. You roots, you radicals, you dub to the reggae. You roots, you radials, you skank to the reggae, you roots. Come on now!

Comfort the afflicted and keep them from harm. Let age be protected and the infants be strong. GO FOR IT!!

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Items

Version 1

13 Reviews 7 Comments

if we were lying the entire time, that means you were lying to me while I was lying to him, then where does the truth of my feelings belong? in the back of some drawer where you shove all of the miscellaneous papers and feelings that you want to forget about? is that the only place you care to fit me, dark and suffocating in come corner, lint balls, broken CDs, pins from a long ago discarded bag -- and me? and what if I've still got you in the center of all things, making circles in the air, ...

Poetry - Overall

Version 1

0 Reviews 0 Comments

godDAMN, where you at? and I'm drawing you pictures of penguins, fat little bellies, white surrounded by black, and your name on a fish hanging from their mouths, from mouths you'll never see fucking sure you'll never feed these starving little babies made of my love, my creation (it borders on obsession), and for you I swing and break them (you laugh and fucking play them). my FIST meets your lips - it sounds almost Freudian - and the blood starts to come, then I'm on my knees begging please...

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Version 1

0 Reviews 0 Comments

if my heart was nothing and I knew and I know it's nothing because you never gave it a second thought during your indiscretions, if I were the wasteful longing for you that I feel at night, wrapped up tight in my blankets, warm and solitary and wishing that you could be the beautiful person I dreamed up the beautiful person I loved and not the hideous reality you've shown me if hair dye and eyeliner and chili fries could hide some reality I'd drown in your essence: bongrips and blowjobs--and ...

Poetry - Overall

Version 1

10 Reviews 3 Comments

i really hope that this nausea isn't a sign of pregnancy

to write the most straight forward quasi haiku EVAR

Version 1

4 Reviews 0 Comments

you pathetic vicious vacillating ambiguous fucking cunt. don't blame me for your feelings or behavior. I have never done anything but try to be nice to you and try to be there for you. you hate _____ because of me? fuck you. you hate because of yourself and because you hate yourself and because you can't deal with what you are. fine fine fine. denial craziness. let's go suck some cock together!!! you wanna--oh wait, that would require talking to me. um...that won't work. you don't need friend...

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Reviews

by cooljim102055

I'm wondering what genre you're going for w/ this. It's too formulaic. You're writing about a junkie. It seems like an inspirational novel. But the chorus reads like something from a punk song. If you wanna write about drug addiction, I would suggest you write something a little more brutal and honest. This doesn't seem all that sincere (and I'm not saying you don't mean it that way, but it doesn't impact me at all). To me, it seems in the vein of "Meet Virginia" or something like that, and i...

by cooljim102055

I don't think that radio friendly songs about abuse are fitting or particularly effective. If you're going to write about something deep and awful, I think you should write about it in a way that does it justice. There's nothing wrong w/ your rhymes or the format of your lyrics or anything, but it seems really gimmicky and, for me, that's an automatic station-changing signal.

by Schyler

This needs a lot more work. I think the first part needs more to it and this...well, I just feel totally lost. It's too short, we don't have any info about the characters yet--we don't even know who this is. Is it Seth or his girlfriend? And the werewolf? I need a lot more information in this one to be drawn into it like I was into the first part I read. This needs to be reworked, extended, given some exposition. You started really strong, but this doesn't live up to the expectations I had ba...

by Schyler

I'm not sure what age group you're going for, but the first part seemed really sexual to me. Also, I would separate it into multiple paragraphs, make it read more smoothly. But that dirty Seth! Now I'm interested and want to know more. So good work!

by Misticism

well oh my! i'm jealous of you! there's not enough of that in my life! i think this is a nice sensual poem, although there are lines where i think you're being too blatant--not because i'm at all opposed to things being graphic, but because i feel like it would serve you better to hold back a little or maybe be a little more figurative. also "peek" should be "peak." i like this though. sounds like a nice experience. i think your next poem should be more realistic though: 5 minutes and she's l...

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