GiftedSlacker's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: Las Vegas, NV
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 23
LOC: Las Vegas, NV
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 23
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Items
Version 1
3 Reviews
3 Comments
sexual disruption. faces painted with emotions of disgust and pleasure simultaneously. i'm looking to the sky with an open mind amidst the black gravel sand at my feet and the piercing sun at my eyes sans sunglasses. i want some sugary sweet candy, i want to lick lollipops and twirl my tongue around swirling ice cream cones, letting the vanilla flavors drip off my chin. i want to run my hands all over a furry blanket, writhing on a moist mattress, while voyeurs scream invecting obscenities at...
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
sharing soulful subtleties amid, among and around vivaciously vamped via vernacular entities enrobed everlastingly exudingly making my misery everlasting ........................... shaded beneath the misery of his sea, clad from the floating remnants of shattered dreams and algae drenched desires, appeared a transluscent twinkle. memories of a decent past, are drowned in the horror of habitual madness. he raised himself from the barnacled chains of his past, and rose out of the water, to let...
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
it's more potent and sexual than two gay men grinding against each other up against a dirty bathroom wall in a dark restroom, with their pants around their ankles and their cocaine-powdered hundred dollar bills crumpled up in their hands. it is more rageful than a father who has just learned that his 18 year old daughter was impregnated by his 43 year old co-worker, as she stands there with her ripped jeans and the invisble hand prints all over her body, with his cum stains still on her shirt...
Version 1
3 Reviews
2 Comments
i wanted to engage. shy, intelligent, naive. i wanted to engage. powerful, simple, direct. i wanted to engage. i was eager to find out. secrets, stories, situations. i was eager to find out. desires, morals, ambitions. i was eager to find out. i engaged, i found out. i was eager, and i accomplished. my questions and kindness spun around your vague life, and i encircled everything for who you were, and swept your proverbial skeletons back into the closet. i looked past your meticulous web of l...
Version 2
8 Reviews
5 Comments
sitting outside, i glaze my eyes upon the world. the sky is full of striking pigments. such beauty, starting from a pale, baby blue, it evolves into a pallete of crimson and yellow swirls. a symphony of noises ... it is nature. nature - mother nature we might say. her powers to make the days come and go, the tide to rise and fall, the moon and the sun - to dance in the sky. something so simple and so divine that is often taken for granted. material things fill the void in our lives, rather th...
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Reviews
riveting. i absolutely loved it. i really enjoyed the subtle alliteration. is the first word meant to be uncapitalized? A night possessed by a storm, that blasted an old oak in the city cemetery, splitting it from top to bottom, exploding the bark. i think you could use, exploded the bark, and split it from top to bottom, instead. there really isn't much to critique, as i think it's pretty stellar as it is.
i really enjoyed this. i think you are purposely pointing out that you are literally speaking of greek mythology. however, I also notice that you could metaphorically be talking about a human, in every day life. i could interpret your first line, as on the cusp of astrology signs, but maybe you didn't intend for it to sound this way. i liked the way it came to an end, proving that love forever changes you.
I liked your choices of words. There are, however, a couple of errors I came across. "Dark and suffocating in (s)ome corner". I also question if it's necessary to have "long ago" before discarded bag. Maybe you could use "anciently" or remove it all together. I also would recommend you to fix "blood and fat oozing, dripping" to possibly "blood oozing, fat dripping". I think it sounds a little better, but again, only my opinion. Great Job!
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