Giggles's profile
AGE:
34
LOC: Federal Way, WA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 15
LOC: Federal Way, WA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 15
I am excited to be apart of writing communities that care about the craft. For five years now…nearly six if we are counting months…I’ve been diligently persueing publication of my novels. And for the next five years I will most likely still be at it. The point is, I’m not quiting!
As for my reviews, I offer advice to stories I feel connected with or to people who, based on profile review, I instantly like. I do my best not to be hostile or confrontational with my opinions nor will I offer a review that simply praises the work. I firmly believe that nothing is perfect, no matter how hard we strive for it. There is always room for improvement. If I can help people climb a little further up the ladder, all the better.
I will…
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Version 2
9 Reviews
4 Comments
Chapter one Blood-shattering cold meant only one thing. The girl in the white dress had arrived. This was her third visit to my dreams in three days and she had yet to make her appearance official, choosing instead to flicker in and out of focus on the outskirts of my mind. Normal spirits, awaken to the fact they were dead or eternal sleepwalkers, would have made a move by this point either to talk or drift off aimlessly through the plains of non-existence, but not her. She wanted something ...
Version 1
9 Reviews
6 Comments
Chapter two “I am not holding the bus for you all day, Miss Willoughby.” Frank, the bus driver, shouted into the morning silence. The girl and I stared at each other, neither of us willing to budge our gaze. There was something there, something between us eating away at my soul. Fear held me rooted to the spot. My hands began to quiver. My lips trembled. There was no way she was a just a ghost. She was something else, but what? “I’m leaving, Miss Willoughby.” Frank pulled the lever to close t...
Version 1
8 Reviews
10 Comments
Chapter one She was there again last night—the girl in the white gown. Three times this week she visited my dreams, looming in the background, flickering in and out of focus. I wondered when she would have the courage to speak to me because I sure and the hell was not going to speak to her, not first anyway. Let’s say I learned early on not to talk to dead people if I could avoid it. However, waiting for them to make first contact was excruciating. Some of them had no idea they were spirits i...
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Reviews
I honestly wish they would reveal the ranking left by individuals because I see that as a helpful number. I put you in the middle. As a writer you have skill that still needs work before you attempt to attract a publisher or an agent. Reason being, your first two paragraph have too many common mistakes. In this industry all you have is your first sentence to make an impression. So make it powerful. Strick some cord of emotion. Declare something profound. If it doesn't draw the reader in you'l...
Wow! The first half of this query is AWESOME! You have an excellent hook in the beginning that automatically puts this in the top 25%. The end needs to be completely redone. Living on "Old glory" does not make other agents say "Thank-God the agent who signed this couldn't make it in the industry so I have a chance at this!" That is useless praise that unfortunately will have you laughed at rather than credited. So ditch the other agent thing. You already have enough information about you, sta...
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A quote to live by. Though few will.
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