Grapetooth's profile

Grapetooth avatar
AGE: 28
LOC: Calvert City, KY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: March 22

I like my women like I like my cars.  Vintage Italian with leather interior.  Single bucket seat. If she purrs right for daddy, I’ll tweak her out with a truckstop cupholder and treat her to a 6 dollar deluxe wash.

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Items
Version 1
32 Reviews   79 Comments
I once knew a man from Pompeii, Who couldn't admit he was gay, He banged lots of ladies, in back his Mercedes, But he had a French tickler bidet. I once knew a girl from Sapporo, Who was preoccupied with her sorrow, She had small dainty feet, and a pre-moistened seat, And a pencil thin moustache, like Zorro. I knew an old maid from Calcutta, Who was toothless and spoke with a stutter, But all the young men would make her a friend When she blew them while gumming yak butter (Just imagine it-- ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
6 Reviews   11 Comments
As we emerge into the new year, we realize that in fact big brother is watching us. Not so totally like the Orwellian adaptation, but more subtle. Nova Roma, sounds nice, and it is nice. Unless you're a Christian, of course. Puritancal self hatdred is not the answer to the riddle of life's elixir. The kingdom of heaven is in the eyes of man, and so shall it be.....Why not? I like to observe the lustre and radiance of a sunny day when I can. Do we want another dark age? Some do. They are curre...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
(when we last heard from our hero, one Mr. Carper Pollux, he was adorned in one bathrobe, generic old man's slipper, and suffering a very sticky inner thigh situation, due to some impromptu bowel extroversion during a recent and habitual black out session, courtesy of Glenlivet single malt {the guy's a Sagittarius, he's got good tastes, even if and when he slums it}Scotch whiskey, and Percocet 10s, the silver knight of opiates. Ah, messy, messy Carp...time to clean your shorts like a big boy ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
7 Reviews   15 Comments
It all takes place over and over again, and the reptilian minded/hearted want to make sure that they win. Of course, they won't . But they'll kick and scream about it every waking second until the next bit hit comes. I should've said 'Big hit' But it's not like that, jack It's a very long series of battles, costing us an only irritable loss in human resource and other. It will make the planet stupid , ugly, and weak with a false sense of security, a net of absollute delusion. It's sad, we hav...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I heard of a chap from Zaire, Whom the locals had casually dubbed 'queer' With a lathe in the ass He'd Yell "Give it the GAS!!" Without ever shedding a tear I tried, at least I did that...
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Removed
0.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Lyrics / The Down Below
HELL YES BROTHA! SPREAD THE WORD! THE GOSPEL OF THE ELECTRIC CHURCH NEEDS T'BE HOID!!! Y'DIG, SON, Y DIG?.......... this shit ain't no joke neither. If righteous indignation is your aim, you hit the mark. I have a vision too. Also. (ahem) I can definitely say that yes, Size MATTERS. KEEP IT FROSTY MARINE!!! HOO RAH (p.s. you misspelled pennance, and apparently so have I because the word processor put a red line underneath pennence, and upon further review I see that the word is actually spell...
Criticism / EMO
Hey, they used to call it 'goth'. I thought that 'emo' was more 'punk' than that, but what the hell, it all ends up the same color anyway, right? Brown, not black, brown....EMO is what they call it these days, but it has nothing to do with emotional familiarity. Most EMO girls' boyfriends are uptown 'angsters' who sell coke and beat up on their girls' plutonic male 'EMO' friends. It's sad. It makes me want to listen to polka/klezmer music exclusively, just so that I won't have to worry about ...
Quotes / Oscar Wilde
Huh huh. You said 'bristol'. Actually, it's not that _all_ Amerkins are worthless, it's just the women under the age of forty. And then quite by proxy, their male counterparts become emapthically senseless. It's good fodder for satire. You'll see, I hear we're exporting Linsey Lohan to you poor bastards.
Short Story / Drug Test Day
What a little fucker! The kid was smart enough to successfully mule and extort, not to mention understand the fundamentals of savings and loan, but didn't realize that he was recieving his hush supplements based on clean piss? He deserves every lash that's coming to him, the bloodthirsty macaque!
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