Hadassah_'s profile

Hadassah_ avatar
AGE: 18
LOC: Jefferson, GA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 18

This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Young Adult / A Heart
Version 2
12 Reviews   0 Comments
His hands were wrapped lightly around my own, connected, but loosely, as if he could make a swift run for it if the panic in his heart squeezed him to movement. Confusion marred his normally familiar features, the eyes and smile I attributed to home. “I don’t want to leave you. . . I don’t want to hurt you, but I think, I think I like her and I don’t really know what to do or say, if we should. . . I just,” he stumbled over his words and I supplied the eloquence, as always. The false spin of...
Ratings & Rankings
Young Adult / A Heart
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
His hands were wrapped lightly around my own, connected, but loosely, as if he could make a swift run for it if the panic in his heart squeezed him to movement. Confusion marred his normally familiar features, the eyes and smile I attributed to home. “I don’t want to leave you. . . I don’t want to hurt you, but I think, I think I like her and I don’t really know what to do or say, if we should. . . I just,” he stumbled over his words and I supplied the eloquence, as always. The false spin of...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Haiku/Senryu / Nameless Stranger
I really like this piece, which is strange because it was so... random, broken, and rambling. But it was well written and even witty. I really enjoyed the collection of writing and would love to read a coherent poem of yours. I think it would be very good. No critisms, other than it was choppy, but there's obviously nothing you can do about that. A suggestion for you, in general, as a writer is to try for longer, more coherent poems and see what you come up with.
Poetry / Secret Scars
I was deeply impressed and affected by this piece. It was raw with emotion that I could tangibly see and feel, completely depicting not only the situation you described but also countless others. Everyone has their scar, and this, to me, touched on that perfectly and inspired the reader to go beyond the shallow image of others. Bravo, I'm impressed.
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Sex Education
This was amusing, insightful, witty while at the exact same time marred by a streak of bitterness that I thought would lessen the quality, but I think it enhances it. I'll admit, personally, I know nothing of the situation you describe other than exactly what you've told me. From that, as someone who naturally cannot relate, I laughed aloud and smiled like a silly little girl because the parallels between the teenage boys i buffer daily and the men they become are amazingly alike. I'd like to...
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / BOOBS
The most amusing thing I've ever read on Urbis! Honestly, you express yourself amazingly well and it isn't just the women who have had children and who understand the exact body issues you disuss but every girl that can relate. I'm sixteen and years away from having kids but still incredibly self-conscious and eating rice cakes of my own. This piece was amusing and well written while capturing the little person inside of every woman wishing to be a little bit thinner or etc. I loved it. And I...
Short Story / Waiting
The plot seemed to be. . . flawed. The beginning was slow and then the conclusion was abrupt and almost unbelievable. It was well written, but the characterization was frusterating. The main character was very flat and shallow, what I would expect from a side character and not the focus of the story- especially his mental status. Also, he behaved as I would think a woman would, and in my mind he actually was a woman until I caught a "he said." The language of the main character was immature a...
Favorites

Hadassah_ has no favorites yet.

People