Hannah_Spruce's profile

'my nerves are jangling' - Jangling I more assosiate with keys in a pocket and fumbling, maybe a better word could be used here? Easily read and understood, I too do running so I've experienced fell running I hate it though, I'm all about the athletics season. I got a bit bored, half way through so I think the descriptive language could be much improved upon, and since I can relate to this i think there is so much more you could have described, especially the physical and mental aspects of th...

I like it, I got that it was an airport instantly so the clarity in that aspect is good. So she takes a glimpse through a blurring layer - I especially like that Helplessly trailing to the floor - although i think the line after that could do with some revising, i understand that to be tears helplessly trailing to the floor but I just think you could do something better here.

Clarity wise I think I followed this ok, it could do with being clearer on who is saying this I was thinking it was a girl. Was she being beaten up, raped? I'm not sure. It was quite creepy. I wouldn't know where to class it so horror yeah. You used a lot of description which is many parts helped to create atmostphere such as "a young girl, huddled and alone" which was really good but I felt there was nothing really going on with "Daylight. A dream. Only a dream. Just a dream. Real. His smile...

That was brilliant, adding to my favourites. I don't have anything else to say except I will treat cough medicine with care from now on. I'm giving it a 10 'cause I do indeed think its bloody fab.