Harvard's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: Denton, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 02
LOC: Denton, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 02
When your entire world is a story book created by the fantastical mind of an eccentric author, you learn to expect the impossible. Within the unassuming pages of “Harvard Heart of Gold and the Writer of this Book,” an entire universe bursts to life with a rich history, distant galaxies, a planet much like earth, a litany of wild characters and two very brilliant ten-year-olds—Harvard Heart of Gold and Kansas Pope—who get caught up in a tale of magnificent proportions where the impossible is always what happens next.
Kansas’ Father becomes enemy number-one in a rebellion that lands the entire city under siege, Harvard’s mom is kidnapped, a boy with wings is held captive, and the two unlikely heroes of this book are forced to make some …
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Version 1
4 Reviews
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It all started at 11:57 one Tuesday morning on the way to the cafeteria for lunch. It all started with a brown bag, a red-headed bully, and a little boy with a lot on his mind. “What’s in the bag, Johns?” the bully said as the crowd of hungry elementary-aged kids shuffled down the halls. “Hello? Earth to Johns!” The bully said. “I said, ‘What’s in the bag?’” “Uh—nothing,” the boy said. “Good,” The bully said, socking him in the shoulder. “I love nothing.” The bully laughed a wicked-sounding “...
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Maybe this deserves higher than an 8. You certainly made good use of the theme of color, especially between the first and second stanza. I get the idea of a child playing in the leaves. I get a real sense of innocence from stanza 1. I think it may be the color pink that makes me think of youth. You write, "leaves swirl about you," and "flutter about your clothes." When I first read it, the repetition of about stuck out to me. You might just replace the second 'about' with 'around.' “Obsessed ...
1. a little sick, but the dialogue was perfect. what more can you say? 2. also a little sick, but in a different way. Actually, the more i think about this one, the more story seems to spring up around it. Why is this guy telling his family he wants a water death? Does he have some disease? does his family think he should just have a regular old euthanization? 3. I want more from this story. I know brevity is the very essence of flash fiction, but what if you stumble on something that would b...
This story is cute, and it has an open door for great things to happen. We want to see the character win. we want to see something great happen to her, and that's the most important thing that i got from this chapter. The beginning of this piece is really imaginative and unique, but if you are going to start the story like that, the idea should at least resurface once or twice within the story. Maybe reference the idea of character-trait lines sometime around when you do the first list of num...
It took a second to figure out what what happening with the dialect, but after only a few lines i found myself reading in a solid whatever accent that was. Part of the charm of this piece is the fact that being forced to read in another dialect almost makes you feel like someone else, some irish or scottish guy is actually reading in your head. The character, whatever his name was, came to life quickly simply because of the accent. The fact that he joked around in the first few lines also hel...
This is a unique and interesting way to go about telling an alphabet-narrative. I like the motif of Zack looking for a zebra from the zoo, and one line was especially fun: "Imogene spoke up. 'We don’t insure zebras especially if they are out of the zoo!'" One thing the story needs is illustrations. That shouldn't be a problem to get though. Another thing that would be easy to fix is the punctuation. The main thing, however, that I felt the story really needs most is more of a poem-like delive...
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