HilaryPoole's profile

I like the strength behind this poem, the message of not giving in and turning yourself into what someone thinks you should be. My favorite lines are "I am my own voice.I am my own name". I also liked, "(Insert poet's name)", letting the reader incorporate their own life into your work. Well done. Thanks for sharing.

I can definitely feel the pain, sadness, and loss of hope in this piece. The analogy of the "tug of war" I thought was good. I don't know who your speaking to in the first paragraph, is it the razor your speaking of? I'm sorry I don't have any advice/criticism, personally I think it is well written. Thank you for posting.

I love the idea and the world you created. I enjoyed reading how Felix changed through the story. "Electro-Erasa-Majigger" I love that especially, very clever! I have 4 children myself and it's something I would read to them. Just a couple of things however, on the first page, "In the in between" it's just my opinion but it doesn't read quite right. Maybe take out the first "In" and replace it with another word? Also I didn't understand what was so bad about the word "Shoosha". That may just ...

First off let me say that I do think you are talented, I see that your under 18, I'm not sure how old you are though, but also talented for your age. I understood that you were saying your trying to write something but you don't have the life experience to draw off of. One thing I noticed in the first verse was "I'm drawing on experiences I've never had for this one, and" I do think this is an important line in the song but maybe it could be shortened to fit with the rest of the lyrics? Also,...

I could feel the "sadness" from such a horrible loss. Your descriptions are both beautiful and heartbreaking. I was able to picture you looking at the child, very well done. I'm sorry I don't really have any criticisms per say, as sad as it was to read, I did enjoy reading it. Thank you for posting!