HollyHobart's profile

HollyHobart avatar
AGE: 27
LOC: Philadelphia, PA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 01

Hi! My name is “Holly Hobart”, I am a 25 year old woman. I enjoy writing and reading. I’ve been writing since I was 11, while it is something that I really, really enjoy I haven’t put as much time into it as I should, so I have a LOT to learn. I’m here to receive constructive feedback from other writers and readers. I would love to have some of my work published one day.

I love new friends, so shoot me an invite.. so that I can read and review your work and you can do the same for me.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 2
1 Review   0 Comments
The Family Man David and I spent every night that week on the phone, talking until the sun came up, then I would reluctantly tell him I had to go, to get ready for work, he’d then tell me how he couldn’t wait to hear my beautiful voice again, and after I’d hang up the phone, I’d walk through my apartment feeling like I was floating on a cloud. As each hour passed, I become more and more anxious about our date. I knew David was special, I felt a strong connection with him, the conversations we...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 2
2 Reviews   0 Comments
My Dead Momma “The first few months after my mother passed were the hardest. I didn’t know I could hurt so badly; I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t even do regular everyday things. I needed to know that things would be all right, but there wasn’t anything that would give me that kind of assurance.” I watched as the gorgeous man spilled his heart out in front of a room of strangers, most black men wouldn’t cry in front of their mother’s and here he was crying in front of a roomful ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review   1 Comment
The Family Man David and I spent every night that week on the phone, talking until the sun came up, then I would reluctantly tell him I had to get ready for work, he’d say he couldn’t wait to hear my beautiful voice again, and after I’d hang up the phone, I’d walk through my apartment feeling like I was floating on a cloud. As each hour passed, I become more and more anxious about our date. I knew David was special, I felt a strong connection with him, the conversations we shared were totall...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
My Dead Momma “The first few months after my mother passed were the hardest. I didn’t know I could hurt so badly; I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t even do regular everyday things. I needed to know that things would be all right, but there wasn’t anything that would give me that kind of assurance.” I watched as the gorgeous man spilled his heart out in front of a room of strangers, most black men wouldn’t cry in front of their mother’s and here he was crying in front of a roomful ...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
This story is really hard to get through, it seems like you didn't go back and reread your work. The opening in my opinion is not needed or if you feel it's a neccesity it could use some reworking. I know you said ignore the misspelling but that makes it even harder to get through t he story while I'm trying to understand what exactly you're trying to say I the story doesn't flow well. I do think the idea could be a good story, but needs some serious reworking and spell check.
I like this, it definitely has the potential to be a Triple Crown or Urban Books publication in my opinion. From the Introduction alone I think this can go so many ways and has so many options. It's definitely something I would read and look forward to reading the next chapterS and more of you work. Great Job. There's not really much I would change about this.
I would really like to see where this story goes, it's intriguing and would grab hold of many of the younger readers and leave them anxious for more. I do think giving more insight into Alison and who she is, aside from being small, would do the story some good and you could also lose, rearranger, or reword "abnormally odd", I don't know maybe it's me but it doesn't seem to fit well there. I do like this so far and look forward to reading more of you work. Keep it up!! By the way, the note sh...
I did like this story, very cute. I'm not really sure what age group this story would appeal to, but nonetheless it's a good story. There doesn't seem to be many - any grammatical errors. I do think the story could be a little longer, and have a more entertaining ending.
Haiku/Senryu / Pinch
Very nice, clever. I'm finding many haiku's that are very appealing & smart to me, this is one.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
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