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HopelessRomantic's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: Thousand Oaks, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 17
LOC: Thousand Oaks, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 17
I love writing and I hope to become published one day. I’m in community collage right now working on transfering to a four year. I’m also a ballroom dancer. I’ve been dancing for nearly three years now. It’s simply brilliant. _
Items
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Rain was pouring in sheets throughout the city. There was hardly a soul about, most everyone huddled together before their fireplaces with tea or chocolate. A man walked the streets carrying a black bag, huddled into his greatcoat for warmth and trying to stay beneath his umbrella. Finally reaching his destination, he ducked into the arch entrance and knocked. An old butler allowed him to enter and took his coat, hat and umbrella. “You look a mess!” exclaimed the woman that had j...
Version 1
14 Reviews
6 Comments
Liz frowned upon hearing a crashing sound coming from down the hall. She had awoke a short while ago and, not able to get back to sleep she opted to get some water from the kitchens. She had just been heading back to her room when she heard a crash. She hurried back down the stairs and down one hall. She heard another crash and realized it was coming from the library. Hoping someone wasn’t trying to break into the house she fisted her hands and forged on. She quickly threw the door open...
Version 1
14 Reviews
2 Comments
A tapping on her shoulder caused her to look up from the table. Her eyes locked with warm honey eyes, slightly shaded by auburn hair. He smiled, flashing white teeth, and held out his hand to her. She stood, her deep red dress moving gently about her knees. He stepped in front of her and led her through the tables and to the steps that led down to the dance floor. The music faded and cheers filled her ears. She barely heard what awards were given out to the current couples on the floor. "Heat...
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Reviews
Oh! I really like this! It makes sense to me and it isn't confussing to me at all, as are many other ones that I read! And it's rare that I like poetry. You paint a very interesting picture with your words! Brilliant work!!! ^_^
It's, interesting. I think the bit between Renee and Michael, when she's yelling at him is a bit drawn out. You could shorten it, get straight to the point. A cashier, such as the one Michael buys the flowers from, wouldn't react that way with a customer. Maybe in joking, but if she's working in a flower store then she wouldn't say something like that, especailly not to a customer. If you're trying to be real I'd go back and change that. Also, watch your spelling and go back and check your gr...
It was pretty good. For one, I recommend adding more detail. What are the differences betweetn a Wulver and a Warewolf? What story did that troll create to make humans believe what they do and why they don't like mystical creatures? Maybe give a little more description on Trec. Maybe an age range? Short backroung? And I'd go back and check spelling too. Again, pretty good. Thanks for sharing! ^_^
I thought this was a pretty good piece. I liked your characters and some of the visuals you gave. My only complaint is a little more character description and scene description. And of course a bit more response from the characters. And I'd go back and check your punctuation as well. Thank you for sharing this! ^_^
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