Very profound piece. I liked the overall idea. Though it's somewhat depressing, the emotions and images it invokes are very powerful, especially with the use of such phrases like "cleaning chunks of flesh from wheel-wells." I like how the descriptions such as this one reinforced the idea of how people ignored what happened or didn't care. Also, how the dying girl's last breath was described as sounding like a "clogged drain emptying" has an impact on the reader and makes them feel like they c...

The description of how your grandmother had that certain smell and how her robe still has that smell reminded me of my grandfather. He was a smoker and there was always this smokey and old (but not necessarily unpleasant) smell around him. After he died, we kept some of his stuff, like his favorite baseball hat and some of his handkerchiefs/bandanas, and even now we can still smell that smokey smell on his stuff. My mom does the exact same that was described in the poem too- when she's having...

That's a very good question; I've wondered the same thing before. Simple but very truthful quote- the best kind. And, even better, it makes you think and uses effective word choice ("shallowest of scrapes") to boot. Nice job!

This definitely captures the overall feeling of being stuck in rush hour during those summer months, when you would rather be at the beach already. Great word choice with "accordions" and "grindingly." The only thing I would suggest is maybe instead of using "want" in the last line, you could use a better word such as crave? It seems like it could be more effective. Overall though, very nice job. I know haikus aren't easy to do!

Yes, the message here is definitely important and true. It is lengthy, but not in an overly wordy or annoying (like run-on sentence) way. The word choice also helps readers to overlook the length by giving it a nice flow. Using words such as "destitute" and "aspirations" also really build up the impact the quote has on the reader and makes it more powerful. Very nice job!

It's definitely hard sharing your more personal work with others, but I'm glad you did. I actually really liked this. The comparisons to math (which I'm not really a big fan of; it's my least favorite class) were very interesting and gave the piece a nice and different perspective (I guess that's the word I'm looking for?). I especially liked the line "today has too many variables," because when you think about it, that's true. It was a little sad toward the end, when you mentioned that you w...

Very truthful and also very thought provoking. The flow is nice as well. It's definitely true that often, time seems to either fly by very fast or move unbelievably slow. And if time goes by slow when we wait for something to grow or come to life, then you have to wonder if that means that dying is supposed to usually happen quickly... I love how such a simple poem, in essence, could leave readers pondering for hours. Very wonderful job, especially in giving people something to think about by...

Wow, I actually really liked this. The word choice is very powerful, as is the overall idea. I think I understand what you were trying to convey, but as I'm still working on finding the meanings behind works of literature (I'm still in high school, after all), I'm not completely certain I've got it all of the way, and the ideas behind this piece seem very advanced and meaningful (not that that's bad; that's actually why I like it). I understand what you're saying about the degrees of guilt an...

Simple, truthful, and self-explanatory. I definitely like this quote. It's not too wordy, yet it's long enough to express the complete idea. And it's definitely true that what we do today reflects on how people look at or remember us in the future, and after it is done, there is no way to change the past. Very nice job.

This was just beautiful yet it was also a bit sad at the same time...that's really the only way to describe it. I completely loved the feelings I got from your poem. There was so much description...like the way you "pick a flower in it's dewed innocence." I also liked the way you referenced yourself to a fairy. Overall, it kind of gave me a sense of there being darkness even when there is light. And the ending...what can I say? "The light of my last life…the rays my last touch…The dark forest...