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JCReyes's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: Holmes, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 04
LOC: Holmes, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 04
The universe in a grain of sand…
The universe in a word,
the world in a story.
Fiction
*My short stories available online:
The Burning of Father Amelio’s Church, September 2006
The Writings on the Wall, October 2005
It Smells Like Syrup, January 2006
Items
Version 1
1 Review
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There were rumors of a morning storm for days before the hints of it swirled against the shoreline. Everyone talked about it, but no one could bring themselves to admit that it was almost certain they would die. Newspapers bore no predictions of the storm, and one of them went so far as to distribute an issue without printed words out of fear that someone in the city would accuse them of ill-omened premonitions. But as everyone knew, the storm was the city's only anticipation, and as the day...
Version 2
1 Review
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When it seemed that there was no one left in the city to hear the exploding windows, there were three people left inside a house with no doors. Around the house there were vines covering the exteriors of every wall. Willow trees grew in pairs along the edges of the back yard, and each had an owl nesting in its bark. Above the house the sky was lit with stars. Though they shone with the indiscriminate affection of the sun, they had nothing to illuminate against the expanse of city squares. The...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
When it seemed that there was no one left in the city to hear the exploding windows, there were three people left inside a house with no doors. Around the house there were vines covering the exteriors of every wall. Willow trees grew in pairs along the edges of the back yard, and each had an owl nesting in its bark. Above the house the sky was lit with stars. Though they shone with the indiscriminate affection of the sun, they had nothing to illuminate against the expanse of city squares. The...
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Reviews
The story was a fun read. I was never all that obsessed with football but I have plenty of friends who are, so it was interesting to read about an obsessed fan from the point of view of his wife. I hope you're enjoying the games as much as he is. At the very least, it seems like you appreciate his devotion to the team and the state it's come to embody.
The story's great. I love the evolution of possibility and the sincerity of the first person narration. I really felt connected to the characters. As you develop this story into a longer piece, think about expanding on the characters' early relationship, i.e. their first days at the park, moments in school, etc. It will help in eluding to things that can become part of their future relationship, whatever you intend that to be. The beauty of writing in the first person is that the object of th...
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