You have one main problem with this story. It has to do with stating the obvious. The greatest example I can show of this is in your title, 'Sixty-Two Floors Up and Into The Sky.' When you tell the reader it's sixty two stories up you automatically assume it's in the sky. You could at least get rid of 'and' in order to fix that problem. That was just one example of the problems I noticed in your work. A good idea is to reread this out loud or read it to a friend and let them tell you what don...

There are a few structural problems that affect the flow in this story. Such as this 'In the last year there had been no serious theft; schoolchildren hoarding, misunderstandings of ownership, which usually ended up in court. Homicide was not booming either. Extortion, embezzlement and kidnapping just disappeared.' These three sentences could be shortneed into one sentence that went staright to the point and didnt ramble. Also, your dialogue seems kind of bland. You don;t really get to feel t...

So I guess your not whipped?

I read this the first time around and if I remember correctly it defiantely has been changed for the better and you kept true to the storyline. Good peice and writing.

There are far to many errors to list. Whether you left those erros such as capitalization and sentence fragments on purpose or not, it dont't work. That causes to much confusion and makes you seem like a bad writer. Even if you do it to feel original or to fit the story it still dont work.

Whether the uncapitalized words are there for a reason it still causes this peice confusion. The periods can be decived as commas and forces a reader to back track once things dont add up. Besides that you have a good thing going here.

This is a good story and I noticed a few sentence errors. For example the very first two sentences in the first paragraph could have been combined instead of seperated to creat a better flow. If you go back and fix little stuff like the later and people will really enjoy it. Besides that I didn't notice any other errors.

Those font changes dont effect the story to much but I am sure they are caused by charcters placed in a certian order on your work. To use _italics_ use the underscore before and after the part you want to be italized. But about the story, I found it a good storyline and no real mistakes to complain about. I enjoyed it and wouldn't mind reading more.

This story uses good grammar and spelling but you have a giant paragraph that needs to be broken down in the middle. That causes the reader to have to intently watch the computer screen to keep their spot. Doing so hurts there eyes so thanks for the eye sore and good story.

your goal is to warm a few hearts? if anything im depressed... but yeah good qoute