J_Lynn's profile

Definitely a cute poem, I enjoyed it. The rhythm is good and when read out loud has a nice flow to it. Really the only criticism I have is with this... Kenny brought a model plane, And Kayla brought a ball. Julie brought her make-up set, That she got at the mall. The make-up set seems out of place, not only with the ball and plane, but with what will most likely be the age of the reader. It seems your audience will be a little younger and the make-up set just seems a little too old. Really th...

Wow, very powerful in it's own way. I think anyone who has ever settled down and had a family can relate, and has probably at one time or another dealt with the fear that this exact thing would happen to them. Your piece did an excellent job at capturing the desperation in losing oneself to the roll you've undertaken. It can happen to the best of us, and it's such a desperate thing when it does. I think it's easy for your reader to feel what your character is going through and to feel for her...

Well, it definately has an interesting start. I think in terms of an age recomendation maybe ten through fifteen? In a way it reminds me of the A Series of Unfortunate Events series, and A Wrinkle in Time series and would probably do well with the same set of readers. I would work on the first sentence, I like the feel of it and the way it opens the story, but not the actual wording. Reading it I wanted to know more about the main characters. You introduce Arnold Jeanie (I loved the a Genie /...

Love it.....especially as I used to work in a book store and I felt like they had a Dummies book for everything except life (they're probably working on one as we speak). Thanks!