Jacquie's profile

Jacquie avatar
AGE: 55
LOC: Fort Lauderdale, FL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 16

I am a writer seeking to be an author. There is a big difference between being published and not being published. My first book is a fictionalized memoir, is complete at 82,000 words and has been copyrighted and professionally edited. I am in the submisssions process now – what a bear – and am fast learning how difficult and cold this business can be. I am exploring self-publishing and find myself here…looking for fellow writers,advice, criticisms, and encouragement. I have had so much positive feedback from professionals as well as my many readers, I thought it prudent to seek feedback from strangers. Although, I hope we aren’t strangers long! Thanks in advance for your help. Jacquie

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Flash Fiction / CHOICES - last revision
Version 1
11 Reviews   3 Comments
She was conscious of her hands slicing through the water, her arms rising above her head, over her ears, head immersed. It was only a six stroke pool, but she willingly swam twenty-five laps today, like every day. Emerging from the pool, Meredith was genuinely happy as the warm Florida sun touched her face. It was a perfect November day in Ft Lauderdale. Warm breezes moved the palm fronds in rhythmic pace, evoking a melody of sorts, but Meredith couldn’t discern the song. Lying on her chaise...
Ratings & Rankings
Flash Fiction / CHOICES
Version 2
4 Reviews   2 Comments
Meredith was genuinely happy as the warm Florida sun touched her face. It was a perfect November day in Ft Lauderdale. Warm breezes moved the palm fronds in rhythmic pace, evoking a melody of sorts, but Meredith couldn’t discern the song. It lightened her heart, however, as she opened her eyes to the glare of sunlight reflected from the water. Blessed with 55 years of mostly good memories, she bowed her head in silent thanks. She wasn’t sure to whom she was grateful, only that she was. Elatio...
Ratings & Rankings
Flash Fiction / CHOICES
Version 1
3 Reviews   4 Comments
Meredith was genuinely happy as the warm Florida sun touched her face. It was a perfect November day in Ft Lauderdale. Warm breezes moved the palm fronds in rhythmic pace, evoking a melody of sorts, but Meredith couldn’t discern the song. It lightened her heart, however, as she opened her eyes to the glare of sunlight reflected from the water. Blessed with 55 years of mostly good memories, she bowed her head in silent thanks. She wasn’t sure to whom she was grateful, only that she was. Elati...
Ratings & Rankings
Flash Fiction / NIGHT TRAVELER
Version 1
27 Reviews   26 Comments
It wasn’t my first affair. Not even my first affair with a married man, although this was totally unplanned. Aren’t they all? When our eyes met for the very first time, we knew our destiny was preordained, if only briefly. Permanence was never discussed, never an issue; it was merely a wish and no more than my wish at that. A surprise, this bond, like none other I have experienced. Its impact has been so powerful, so poignant, that I am still, almost two years later, gasping for air. Desolate...
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Short Story / NIGHT TRAVELER new
Version 1
10 Reviews   9 Comments
NIGHT TRAVELER It’s not like it was my first affair. It wasn’t even my first affair with a married man, although this was totally unplanned. Aren’t they all? When our eyes met for the very first time, we knew our destiny was preordained, if only briefly. Permanence was never discussed, never an issue; it was merely a wish and no more than my wish at that. A surprise, this bond, like none other I have experienced. Its impact has been so powerful, so poignant, that I am still, almost two years ...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Nicely done - great message of renewal said in a very visual way as well. Congrats on this.
I really liked this - excellent use of language, the topic is timeless and well said, and it was a satisfying read. I loved the message and hope it finds a way to the pople who could most benefit - our youth! Thanks for a good read.
Your use of language is very good and I enjoyed the descriptive writing...I guess I am not sure of the overall point of the story. In other words, the ending was a dissapointment. I would have preferred to know her dilemma and how his genrral counsel would be significant to her. I also didn't exactly make the connection as to why he assumed that she loved her sister so much - was it a look on her face...because her dialogue didn't indicate such. I think ths a good beginnning of a story that c...
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Journeyman
Though not a genre I generally read, this piece captured my atention and carried me through the story quite nicely. I applaud your use of language and your descriptions are vivid. That being said, I was disappointed in the ending. It seemd abrupt and sudden to me. I think you could expand this, perhaps in a further discussion with PAM and the reason for his ultimte demise