JamesPatrick's profile

JamesPatrick avatar
AGE: 25
LOC: Porter Ranch, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 12

My name is James Patrick Lyons. I write plays, screenplays, essays and short stories. I’m a literary student, and I pay particular attention to various forms of criticism and thematic elements.

In short, I can’t write, but I know what I like to read.  

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Items
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
                "Damn this horrendous plague of gloom! Everywhere it strikes with bestial swiftness and fury. Where-after its wounds lay in festering malignancy until I can bear no more, and am left with little option but crude surgery of the flesh. but still, always it remains at my back and thus driving me forwards to miserable end. I have no recourse but isolation in both drink and social refusals.       ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews   4 Comments
It was dark-- 3:30 on urban streets wet with urine-- 7th especially, as it lays suffocated by vacant ruins. I saw him walking towards me-- a question slurred in Spanish, then he sucked his dirty thumb and through my pants, grabbed my penis. I laughed it off and rushed to 7-11 (the only lit neon in the sky), but I was terrified and cry about it sometimes. Later that night I saw him ,on Broadway, splattering his puke into the gutter.
Ratings & Rankings
Flash Fiction / The Postman
Version 1
6 Reviews   9 Comments
On August 15, 1924, Elizabeth Ashbrook, sitting on the parlor windowsill, watched a well dressed postal courier park his bike at the family's expansive estate's gate and remove a brown paper parcel. Elizabeth saw that he was young, perhaps a few years older than her, 24 she would decide later. His face would be pink with excursion, she imagined, his teeth white and a bit uneven--though not enough to make him unattractive-- and his hair would be brown like her brother's, though not so juvenil...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 2
8 Reviews   14 Comments
I never told a lie, and my teeth were always on the fly. With eight years in office, I left with only oatmeal and denture supplies.
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Joyce
Version 1
7 Reviews   7 Comments
From Dublin to Zurich, quickly now, Paris! Barbarism follows and lights the world on fire.
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Poetry / Sailor's Song
I like the imagery of "opened my throat" but it seems out of place in the poem--violent and outside the nature themes of the story piece. That's my only real criticism. Besides the notation that repetition of "you" sounded a bit sophomoric--but that's more of an opinion thing.
Non-fiction / Votive
Locked
Short Story / A Man and his Island
Your story depresses me. It's a good story, with plenty to read in subtitles, but the concept of the closed family--why were only the aunt and uncle mentioned, not the siblings/parents-- depressed me. It was interesting how the uncle was still being defined by a split up with his wife. This compiled with the fact that the family is so clearly distant makes for an interesting comment on the social life of one demographic. Perhaps you could close up the story by giving an account of what happen...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Sci Fi & Fantasy / 1st draft
Locked
Non-fiction / untitled
Hello, It seems as though this piece was cut short. It's very funny (from what I read), particularly the illustration of anxiety through penis anxiety. I would have liked to hear more about your stepmother. An introduction to her character, if you will.
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