last line "so van gogh" -naaaaaa your first two lines are perfect, work on the third.. too much mind-thought in the third line, try for an observational line that doesnt reference pop culture...then you will have a mini piece of art. grasshopper.

your interweaving of songs and their context into this poem is great...good structure: your line lengths support a good flow as it is read. Only one idea i dont understand: "The voice rings ...."to the gasping awe in reverence" to generations.... voice ringing to gasping awe? i dont know...but does that matter anyway? a poem speaks its own language, to analyze too much is to destroy.

nice narrative poem ...it tells the typical school day...only one typo...should be pack YOUR books.....overall, good job... i picture this being read very fast, try it aloud.

too much criteria!!!! holy bejole!!! I know of no poetry publishers who approach people, so i am always confused by that criteria... great poem, the ending lingers, which is good, you havent resolved anything... only one line i would change "As I am seemingly walking aimlessly Through life." only because it is so literal, but the rest of the poem, figurative...i think it detracts from the overall effect of the piece, sounds trite. can you think of a good metaphor to replace it?

the capitalization is really annoying!!!! i was looking for an acronym or something. this is fluffy...the land of sea creatures...sea monkeys, starfish, little princesses, friendly octopi, ...what are you trying to convey here? i am lost. if youre writing for nine year old girls, thats different.

This is really going to hinge on the music its played with...death metal? piano ballad? Lyrics are hard to evaluate because the expression with which theyre sung could really make or break it. IT has a tangible bitter tone...and its rhythm seems right.

something makes me stumble over the last line. it seems very abrupt, and if thats your intention, well done- a sense of destruction? overall, it is cohesive in style and is effective in its brevity. peace.

well...its not the most powerful thing i have ever read...cute? iguess..i prefer sayings that empower us.... it is original, for sure.

i think youve done a nice job capturing a precise emotional process...nice sense of helplessness, and the last line is a perfect revelation... "surrender" ing to sadness, its a nice use of figurative language. I like it.