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Jan_Glinton's profile
AGE:
24
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 18
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 18
I love reading and watching TV and my heroes include Marvin the Paranoid Android from ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’, Scarlett O’ Hara from ‘Gone with the Wind’ (the novel, not the film) and JD from ‘Scrubs’.
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Version 1
11 Reviews
8 Comments
Thank you all for your lovely reviews. They were so good that I couldn't choose the ones I'd take out; there is no more doubt we all suffered from removed reviews. To all the pedants: It was nonsense poetry not a limerick. Your words are all still up; do please take note my reviewee was not really that bad just not very flattered by what I wrote So that actually makes her quite a sad Cow who missed the point of Urbis entirely. I don't dwell on that issue any more; T'would be fun to you, but l...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
75 Reviews
46 Comments
I opened my Urbis inbox today and recoiled in mock horror. For waiting for me, on my laptop display, Was not a demand for a dollar, But a rebuke, and a gentle one at that, Telling me where I'd gone wrong: "Your review didn't meet our guidelines, you twat, And it's going to be removed, removed, removed. Yes, it's going to be REMOVED!" (Well, I wasn't really called a "twat") But someone had taken great umbrage: They'd complained that my carefully crafted review Was akin to a piece of garbage. I...
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Reviews
This in itself would be a short story; if taken together with the other parts, you've got a novella on your hands. There was too much talking and analysing, which did not drive the story forward, and not enough action. Also, there was a tad too much touchy-feely sentimental stuff in it - for me, it would have been better if there had been more action that was relevant to the narrative.
I love this! It's brilliant! I don't have anything bad to say about it because it's a proper limerick. However, I don't think 'mace' can have the indefinite article in front of it because like sand or sugar, it's uncountable. Perhaps 'plaice' or 'dace' would be better. Good job, though!
You have a nice writing style reminiscent of thriller writers eg Lee Childs and John Grisham; it's not like sci-fi at all because the sentences are short and sharp, yet packed with emotion. Grammar: I understand that it is not appropriate repeatedly use "has been" or "had been" eg "Emma’s husband had been bearing the brunt of her disappearance. Although there had been no body, nor any signs of foul play, his reputation had been slandered." could be rewritten as "Emma's husband bore the brunt ...
Your first sentence was striking; I could see immediately that the style of your writing is very unique and interesting because it smacks of a 19th century novelist trying to write in a 21st century way. I like it loads! What happens next ;) ??? One typo: "lashed" should be "lashes". Cheers!
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