JayPhoenix has no favorites yet.
JayPhoenix's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 19
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 19
What can I say, I am from the deep end of the pool when it comes to ideas but admittedly from the shallow end when it comes to actually sitting down and putting pen to paper … or fingers to keys, I suppose.
I am trying to get better, though!
Items
Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
The light streamed in through the window like shafts of pure gold. Illuminating the room with an almost too intense light, cascading over everything within it like waves from a yellow ocean, the sunlight brought hints of burnished orange and golden honey to everything that it touched. Light and airy already, with only one large bed, a bedside cabinet and a full length wooden-framed mirror to fill its space, the room had a sense of calm tranquillity about it. Motes of dust floated languidly in...
Version 1
8 Reviews
4 Comments
… before he realised what it was that he was actually doing, his finger squeezed. [ONE HOUR AGO] The bell above the door chimed out its ringing welcome, announcing to all that heard it that the shop had a customer. The noise from the busy street outside did its best to submerge the bell under its own cacophony of sounds … the March wind, sounding like a thousand asthmatics at a convention, blustering between the narrow buildings that tried to contain it; the rumble of diesel engines as they p...
Version 1
5 Reviews
4 Comments
Yesterday I could fly, I could soar, I could touch the sky. Today, though, is a different thing, I see no feathers, I have no wings. I am left with just sore arms.
Version 1
3 Reviews
5 Comments
Xxx Epilogue xxX A hand reached out through the darkness, the rest of the body shrouded in shadows that seemed to cling and surround the figure like a lover’s embrace. It was dry and cracked in places, the exposed skin covered in brown liver spots while the nails on each finger were jagged and broken with dirt visible underneath the yellowed keratin. A ring, the metal mottled with corruption so that what once may have been gold looked more like verdigris covered brass, rested on the index fin...
Version 1
3 Reviews
5 Comments
Xxx Chapter Seven xxX He should have been getting used to regaining consciousness by now, after getting so much experience over the last few days, but Nathaniel found it hard to open his eyes and focus. After a moments struggle he managed to lift his head up, slightly, and open his eyes. “Welcome back, lad,” Kel said, his face filling Nathaniel’s vision. “You had us worried there.” “We are Goran and k’Tasha?” Nathaniel asked, his thoughts clouded. “Did we win?” “Yes, we won,” Kel acknowledged...
[ View all items ]
Reviews
I have to be honest here and state, for the record, that I have nevere reviewed this sort of letter. All I can do, therefore, is tell you what worked for me, personally, and not what I think an agent/publisher would make of it (being neither myself!). Do you need to state the number of words in the query letter or would it be on the sample/synopsis that you send with it? When you say who it is aimed at you are doing one of two things - One: letting the agent know that you have researched this...
I think that I definintely missed out by not reading the first chapter of this as I felt like I was thrown in ant the VERY deep end in a lot of the overall plot of this World. That said - and from what I read here - you seem to have an intriguing story in mind. "The main focus on this entry is to see how it looks overall and how you as the readers see it in terms of story rather then editing issues" Well, that is what you asked for so I am going to ignore the purely technical issues that you ...
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People













