Jeremiah's profile

Jeremiah avatar
AGE: 27
LAST LOGIN: September 15
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Version 3
12 Reviews   0 Comments
In the village of Rabbits there are many holes. Every morning with the first ray of the sun, Rooster Rabbit pries open his eyes and goes around to wake up all the other Rabbits. What an important job, right? The Rabbits gather for carrot cereal, and then on most days, they begin digging holes and continue doing so for most of the day, digging and digging and digging and digging. The village with the most holes is the best village someone said so all the different Rabbit villages work to dig ...
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Short Story / Apocolypse
Version 2
0 Reviews   0 Comments
...and in the end there were the most beautiful angels lain slaughtered in the greenest of meadows and the ugliest demons impaled, presumably, at the hands of those beautiful angels. And there were miracles sacrificed and gone to waste like unknown martyrs leaving bastardized saints in their wake. And somewhere trapped in some eternal loop were the echoes of screaming soldiers. And the schismatic ruin was not a sight for human eyes, with the blood of seraphs and the broken teeth and shattered...
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Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
In the village of Rabbits there are many holes. Every morning with the first ray of the sun, Rooster Rabbit pries open his eyes and goes around to wake up all the other Rabbits. What an important job, right? The Rabbits gather for carrot cereal, and then on most days, they begin digging holes and continue doing so for most of the day, digging and digging and digging and digging. The village with the most holes is the best village someone said so all the different Rabbit villages work to dig ...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / Death Gets Laid
Version 3
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Kathy was a late bloomer, some rare flower that waits until mid-fall to blossom, but a blossom just the same. As a child she had been left alone on the hill by the death of her mother and taken in by her grandmother. Then it started happening again; another dying matriarch. Kathy's grandma died slowly over many years and required constant care and attention which is why at age thirty Kathy had never been on a date. She had never made love. She had dreamed about it many times. Everyday and eve...
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Short Story / Death Gets Laid
Version 2
4 Reviews   1 Comment
Kathy was a late bloomer, some rare flower that waits until mid-fall to blossom, but a blossom just the same. As a child she had been left alone on the hill by the death of her mother and taken in by her grandmother. Then it started happening again; another dying matriarch. Kathy's grandma died slowly over many years and required constant care and attention which is why at age thirty Kathy had never been on a date. She had never made love. She had dreamed about it many times. Everyday and eve...
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Short Story / Nice Things
furniture: it Alright, there are some grammar things, but first let me say that this a fantastic piece of writing. It shows a lot of talent. I love your comment about the run-ons. That's so funny. That makes me so mad. Anyways, the sentences are very well constructed, and for the most part are not run-ons. The sentence structure is extremely strong, but i would be careful. I'd look them over thoroughly before trying to publish. The piece develops and unfolds at a perfect pace. The rise at the...
This is excellent. I enjoyed this very much. I have no constructive criticism for you because you have done a fine job. I'm waiting too, for more money, new house etc. This piece embodies such waiting very accurately. Because we have no choice. Excellent piece of work.
I enjoyed this. I don't have much constructive criticism for you. It was well done and you don't need any tips from me. It flows well and sticks with the rhythm and measure. It's a cool scene that is painted. "For the time has come for the feast Where innocents all are food for beasts." That's a good line and has a great flow to it. It rolls right of the tongue. i would maybe add some lines that add to a circus feel. I think that would be cool, to have the Master be a ringmaster in some carni...
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