Jesse's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: Jefferson, GA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 01
LOC: Jefferson, GA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 01
Names Jesse Charles. I live in Georgia, the po-dunk Jackson County, boonie country. I want to become a sailor in Alaska when I grow a little more (I’m confident of the fact that there is a wolf waiting there to be my friend). I’m going to make millions of dollars because I’ve decided to for the sake of the people around me, sucking at the oxygen as I am. Not that the people around me need money, it’s probably the last thing they need; it’ll just be my prisoner for the sake of helping me communicate purpose, all kinds, to the people. I unpopularly follow Jesus as well as I know how.
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She, Made brief replies and went on humming Was found In a clamorous appealing to the mercy of fire. Lost innocence. Yet, Methought a seraphim perching upon My soul Would spare me from the plutonian shore, as a hostler A horse from quick sand But woe! The angel was only an envoy of What I am too weak to grasp She, A fowl whose fiery eyes Rose upon being embarrassed Of usurers She, Would say that imitation is still, death, As liquid ditty of expostulation floats From the melancholy menace In a...
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Version 4
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She, Made brief replies and went on humming Was found In a clamorous appealing to the mercy of fire. Lost innocence. Yet, Methought a seraphim perching upon My soul Would spare me from the plutonian shore, as a hostler A horse from quick sand But woe! The angel was only an envoy of What I am too weak to grasp She, A fowl whose fiery eyes Rose upon being embarrassed Of usurers She, Would say that imitation is still, death, As liquid ditty of expostulation floats From the melancholy menace In a...
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Version 3
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She, Made brief replies and went on humming Was found In a clamorous appealing to the mercy of fire. Lost innocence. Yet, Methought a seraphim perching upon My soul Would spare me from the plutonian shore, as a hostler A horse from quick sand But woe! The angel was only an envoy of What I am too weak to grasp She, A fowl whose fiery eyes Rose upon being embarrassed Of usurers She, Would say that imitation is suicide As liquid ditty of expostulation floats From the melancholy menace In a heart...
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Version 2
4 Reviews
2 Comments
She, Made brief replies and went on humming Was found In a clamorous appealing to the mercy of fire. Lost innocence. Yet, Methought a seraphim perching upon My soul Would spare me from the plutonian shore, as a hostler A horse from quick sand But woe! The angel was only an envoy of What I am too weak to grasp She, A fowl whose fiery eyes Rose upon being embarrassed Of usurers She, Would say that imitation is suicide As liquid ditty of expostulation floats From the melancholy menace In a heart...
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Version 1
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She, Made brief replies and went on humming Was found In a clamorous appealing to the mercy of fire. Lost innocence. Yet, Methought a seraphim perching upon My soul Would spare me from the plutonian shore, as a hostler A horse from quick sand But woe! The angel was only an envoy of What I am too weak to grasp She, A fowl whose fiery eyes Rose upon being embarrassed Of usurers She, Would say that imitation is suicide As liquid ditty of expostulation floats From the melancholy menace In a heart...
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this was refreshingly simple and i was pretty surprized that i didn't hate it when i was done reading. i think that there could be a lot of strengthening. it just doesnt seem to live. it does take me to a different place from this computer room, stuck with the reality that i have a research paper due tomorrow. the word choice could definitely be improved to add a little color. improved, i dont mean advanced, i mean better chosen. have you ever written words around one particular, colorful wor...
i would shorten "i was one of the few.." to "i found it. browsing poetry sites." i think that some of this doesn't work because half the poem is about the other guy's poem and it doesn't work as a driveway to the last stanza. so i'd shorten everything about the Justin's poem and add in other points that make Britney look erotic. and also, i'd advise some witty yet vague hint to her eating a baby in the beginning. good luck.
ooh man. i liked the last little "so here watch your step" part. i wish you would go a little further with it. something more abstract following it, i mean. maybe "so here watch your step, everthing is as it doesn't seem...or...something of the like" i really really am glad that you are using free verse at so young an age. it will treate you well and then you will grow to love it and nothing else. but then when you get a little older, you'll realize that the ones that can get the essence of f...
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wonderful! i feel like i know you through this work. and that is the best compliment i know how to give. this is exceptional for someone that does not consider themself a poet. i think everything after "Brain, to give me" is absolutely fine. this part 'Inside, deep, I am Bloody. Within the deepest part of me are Organs. Without them I will Die: Liver, to make me Live; Heart, to make me Love;' doesnt seem to share the same voice as the rest of the writing. the end and beginning should be diffe...
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