But even celestial beings have rankings. - the 'have rankings' seems a bit akward.. i might say something like 'hold rank' just because it seems to flow better? loved this concept though, very imaginitive. The other stars weep for you but the galaxy still turns and tomorrow a new star will be born. - I would bring the but down infront of the galaxy, and the and down infront of tomorrow, but this is simply because that is how i read it. ALSO: i would give 'then went out' it's own line, for dra...

Crazy! sounds like the start of something amazing. I think you could really do a lot with this.. I wanted more descriptions on the dead, like "as they sipped grape juice, and it poured out of their open neck wound onto the table and then dripped to the floor bringing with it bits and pieces of their esophogis (sp?)." heh, it was funny, amusing, and strangly heart warming? But maybe i'm just a sicko, heh. How about a plane crash, or perhaps a cruise ship accident? these are also things that co...

1) loved the set up of the lines 2) i don't think you need a (.) after bacon. 3) "in gods forsaken skillet" you don't need it, because everyone knows what you're saying, but you might want to say " god's " or even " gods' " skillet, depending on your view of "god". 4) I loved this, is is so simple and so beautiful and should be morbid, but isn't. Loved it.. that's a lot for a crow to say with one ka'kaw.. heh J. Humiston

Wonderful.... ohh how this made my heart sigh, and my eye jump, and my thoughts swim inside my skull like trout up stream! I was confused, excited, reminicent, and hopeful all at the same time!! But now, to what you were concerned about... flow and readablity. I think that it is very clear, but not so clear that you are pouring your thoughts down my throat. You give them a chance to simmer in my mouth before I swallow them. Not so clear, as to alienate me form the piece, letting me see myself...

I had so many thoughts fluttering through my head when i read this. Even now, with each read, i am bombarded by a new vision. Way to be completly vage and yet so specific at the same time. Loosee, that's a word i would love to see more often. Great work. (Have to say though, i liked the review notes, as a six word memoir, just as much!)

it was nice.. ha. no seriously... i feel like this should be screamed amongst the background of a drunken haze into the night.. it's fast and a'flame..and at the same time in such a sacred oath that it is perfect low and solid as well..the line "i dream perfect." took my breath away...the only thing that i would change, if i were to change anything is this: i would switch the first two lines...because i feel the title "poet" should be voiced in the reading of this piece. It gives you, when re...

Very powerful. I read the piece before i had read your instructions, and i didn't even think about it having to do with an addict. Once i did, it had a whole new meaning to me. I liked it, but i was hard to read. I'm all for NOT using puctuation in poetry, but you should use the form of your piece to dictate how the reader reads, beat and what not.Exp, the reader will read "I use I drink you in" a lot differently than "I use I drink you in" even though they are on the same line. I think this ...

simple, rhythmic, and some what haunting. Liked the set up, strong structure. I think a lot of people can mold this around their own lives, and it is good advice without being too pushy. Well done.

I would change the last line from "like blood coursing through the desert" to "like blood coursing through a desert life" to bring it back to the begining of "life in grass". Some great imagry, indeed. Life's path from wet to dry, grass to dirt. Well done.

I thought that the begining of the piece is very strong, and works. The last few lines, i feel could use some work wording wise. Though, it could just be the fact that it's more obviously about chili the second vrs, that is throwing my imagination off kilter? Very well done not using the works a, an, or the.. and also good structure.