Jimmel104's profile

Jimmel104 avatar
AGE: 67
LOC: Flower Mound, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 20

I count myself fortunate to have two close friends though I continue to search. Most we can pass and never notice, others tear at your heart and slow your pace, just a step and then life happens and they no longer walk beside you. Stange how the latter is imbedded in your mind forever and you wonder if they were the one while you are left to replay them, alone in your memory.

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Items
Quotes / The Food Chain or Blessed Are The Weak
Version 1
30 Reviews   38 Comments
The weak die young; killed by the strong. The strong die young;killed by the rich.
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Poetry / An Oneiroi
Version 3
15 Reviews   19 Comments
In the mist of my waking wafting about the edge of my vision, I drift towards the cloud that is my memory to the figure wrapped within. Willing myself back into the night I tumble ever deeper, to reach what is not there. Silently I slip softly alongside and gently caress the mystery of her. Breath ever faster I strain to see her through the haze. The almost touch, sensing the fragrance, the white satin snugged to reveal the gentle curves beneath My loin cries out in anticipation Clear now; wh...
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Poetry / Dreams
Version 1
3 Reviews   3 Comments
Through the fog of twilight reverie As a lazy haze wafts round the edge of my vision I drift towards the figure wrapped within the cloud that is my memory Ebb and flow slipping away into the night Ever deeper I tumble stretching to reach what is not there Breath shallow afraid to wake the figure wrapped within The soul that is dancing on the edge of the mist Breathing ever faster I long to reach through the haze Feeling the almost touch sensing the fragrance Form covered in white satin snugge...
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Poetry / Alone
Version 2
20 Reviews   20 Comments
Waited most of her young life Patient, then frantic, doubting Now? When? Pleading. Found him, once, desperation rule gone now, bitterness rule wounded dove He was there, wasn't he? Why can't she see him through the mist that shrouds her eyes Where is he? There, over there peering waiting holding a breath until Children crying, Mist again, Why isn't he here Now it will be soon Perhaps not no promises the pain exploding her heart, aching, making her cringe. Children growing. Too many years, was...
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Poetry / Alone
Version 1
9 Reviews   7 Comments
Waited most of her young life Patient, then frantic, doubting Now? When? Pleading. Found him, once, desperation rule gone now, bitterness rule wounded dove He was there, wasn't he? Why can't she see him through the mist that shrouds her eyes Where is he? There, over there peering waiting holding a breath until Children crying, Mist again, Why isn't he here Now it will be soon Perhaps not no promises the pain exploding her heart, aching, making her cringe. Children growing. Too many years, was...
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Reviews
Flash Fiction / Thirty Word Story - "The House Fire"
by orangemilkcrate
Clever and good descriptions. Ending was a let down. Probably fiction, but missing the "flash". I always think that the endings in flash fiction should be something unexpected or miraculous or totally weird. This one was calm. She came to terms with her end and sat down and had a drink. No pathos. How about: "Reclining her chair, she blasted back to her space ship." LOL 7/8/7/8/6
Poetry / Pondering the Death of a Spider
by drbailey
I like the imagery a lot. You create a wonderful humanization here. The weakness is understanding their death. Probably wouldn't matter if you didn't have "Death" in the title but since you do, it begs some clarity as to the manner, reason or how we are to know they died. So, my suggestion would be to change the title or clarify their demise somewhat. How aoubt 8 Legged Lovers or Octopods in the Sheets. :>) 6/8
Poetry / strut
by Lin
Like the idea, but it doesn't format well on Urbis though I have seen some do it but don't know how they accomplished. As to content, ok, but don't think it will get a Pulitzer. I would like to see this laid out the way you want it. I actually think it might help the overal quality of this. 7
Poetry / God This Can't Be A Hangover
by GrayAyes
Clever. The lines/verse structure helped a great deal to make this a fun read. Found your staccato word choices well placed to create a hurried pace in the center verse. The poem kind of accelerates from the middle to the end. My only question is the title choice. Could you rewrite that one more time please. It doesn't do the poem justice. Oh, one other thing; lose about half the criteria. They are redundant and a pain. ;>) 7/8/7/7/9/7/8
Flash Fiction / Two Members and Eight Sightless Eyes
by Marvin
Well to say you have been on a strange clip would be an understatement. LOL Not sure what I think of this. It has moments but honestly it seems like you are writing more for shock value than trying to create a short story that ends very quicky with a sharp surprise. There are also some spots that didn't make sense to me. Examples: "Justine crossed her legs, dark pubis " "Father nudged his member with his thumb" Is this the narrator telling us these curious things or Darren? The line, "riding ...
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