This was very well written!Very visual. I especially enjoyed the part when you said" And to taste your ruby lips,I sip strong wines.Intoxication, Sweet desire, Small kisses savoring," Keep up with the writting. Id love to see more of this!

To me, this is a lot of "cause" and short slang. In my opinion you should change all that to the longer words. Just a thought (: I like this though. It seems like you and someone are always arguing so I hope it works out.

Not much to say with the content given. Its well written but you should continue on and keep going with this. It could go far.

To me , This could be about loosing a loved one by death, or simply by just a break up of some sort. All over though it is well written. You used very good choice of words.Keep up the great work (:

Im not sure if your talking about one single person or a bunch of "females" because you said in one line "I love every female the same" then you say "How deep my love for you can go..." It's quite confusing.

I like the choice of words.. But they don't fit together quite right. It's not very clear to me. It's making me think of something very painful, something or some type of pain someone or something is in.

Not much to say about content given. Like when you talk about him I don't know much about him as in when you talk about your nervous habits of liking your lips, I wonder if he notices or if he has his own nervous habits. Over all though a good piece.

It seems to me as if you think low of your self. I believe this could be a very good piece of writing, Keep it up, and get some self esteem I guarantee you will love it (:

Honestly, I liked it. Very much. I hope you continue so I can read on (:

This was short, Yet got to the point quickly. I think if you tweaked it a bit this would be a very fine piece.