Joel's profile 
AGE:
50
LOC: Reeds Spring, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 22
LOC: Reeds Spring, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 22
I’m a poet, a potter, and a philosopher. I was a poet first. To me the opportunity to paint with words is simply awesome. That I’m good or bad at it matters naught. It is the doing of it that refreshes the mind. Poetry is a healing balm, that quiets my bitter moments, and hopefully, brings others into the deeper recesses of our shared existence.
Joel.
Items
Version 2
12 Reviews
9 Comments
I find the heights of reason to exist in the depths of soul. We are all, as one, and as individuals, collections of experiences and reflections spiraling through myriad points of commonality into, for each of us, our own singularity of consciousness. We think as one being, feel as one being, and suffer as one being, yet we do all of these in our own individual ways. This is why I think that it is imperative that we hear what Christ meant when he told us to, “...love our neighbors...” For is i...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
7 Reviews
8 Comments
Ode to a Perspicuous Friend What do we do, when the day is too long, and the sun won’t set. When familiar faces trade places, with once familiar sounds. When briny rivers reflect the solemn turning of the ground. Perception paces quietly, around the throne of fates. Persephone, of stone and earth no longer speculates Abandoned, the burden lingers supine. The clock has been removed from the mantel. The shelter yields to the rain. The train catches up the pilot, and hushes him to the shore, as ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
I find the heights of reason to exists in the depths of soul. We are all, as one, and as individuals, collections of experiences and reflections spiraling through myriad points of commonality into, for each of us, our own singularity of consciousness. We think as one being, feel as one being, and suffer as one being, yet we do all of these in our own individual ways. This is why I think that it is imperative that we hear what Christ meant when he told us to, “...love our neighbors...” For is ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 2
12 Reviews
10 Comments
Though the demons of chance spy upon us, it is not us they see, only our indecision. April, the new moon, the old habit. I walked along a path lit by firelight. The wicked shadow play on the houses across the street offered the image of neurotic laughter. It was as if the houses, though just as vulnerable as the other, and in fact threatened by the other, were nonetheless delighting in the sanctuary of avoided-wrath. The air was in my face and was fresh with the memory of Spring rains. I walk...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
Though the demons of chance spy upon us, it is not us they see, only our indecision. April, the new moon, the old habit. I walked along a path lit by firelight. The wicked shadow play on the houses across the street offered the image of neurotic laughter. It was as if the houses, though just as vulnerable as the other, and in fact threatened by the other, were nonetheless delighting in the sanctuary of avoided-wrath. The air was in my face and was fresh with the memory of Spring rains. I walk...
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Reviews
You are doing a bit of telling here. For instance, don’t tell me that the car ‘concealed’ its passengers, show me how they are concealed. You have a good opportunity to add some action to the still setting with the bats. I think a better description would be more energetic. Also, ‘fleshy wings’ was uncomfortable, it sapped the energy of the moment. I know what the bats are doing, show me them doing it (I know they’re eating bugs). For instance, “With swift dives and impossible turns the bats ...
You are telling more than showing. This makes the read seem perfunctory. In the sentence, “There’s no need to nag.” for instance, you tell me that the professor ‘regrets’ his retort. A perhaps better approach would be, ‘a look of regret flashed across the professor’s face dislodging several beads of sweat.’ Again, show me that the suit is heavy. Put the professor in it, show me the pain it causes, show me the strain, the sweat, the slowness in response. It is interesting, but the writing real...
I really liked this. Your use of rhyme and meter are that of a poet, and thus rarely seen. I do think you overdid (as in over-repeated the standing image at the core of the poem. I suspect you could cut about a third of the poem out and use some polish and have a brilliant piece. You did accomplish an interlace with the panda to panda T-shirt, that was good. I however think that you need more of these anchor points so that the mind of the reader is subtly led to suspect, at a subconscious lev...
I like the premise quite a bit. All in all I like the poem. I do have a few problems with it though. You are in a way creating a narrative here. The way I see such endeavors, it is best to have ‘hard points’ of very strong language (not cursing, but emotion charged) and those points need to be set in a rhythm that cause them to explode into the consciousness. S1, I think I would rather see the third and fourth lines made into the first and second lines. Build suspense. Then, perhaps, have the...
I think you are making a mistake by addressing the reader as, “you.” In so doing you are imposing mood and intentions upon the reader. I personally dislike that and I think many if not most share my position on this. How exactly do you, “thinly veil” awe with emptiness? This is logically disconcerting. Find another way of saying it. How is a demeanor ‘concerned’? People get concerned, not their facades. Are his eyebrows ‘fanning’ or are they ‘unblinking’? Two contradictory actions in close pr...
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