Faith knows no fear in this piece. Your thoughts are commendable yet as you have set the goal of attracting an agent I will assume you are not actually at death's door. My only criticism would be that your imagery could be stronger. The line, "My blessings have intertwined like a beautiful lace." is very good and if more lines could come up to that standard then your goal might be more easily achieved.

The lyric is simple which is a plus for a rock song. The word, "Torture," will suit a rock setting rather than pop. Three different parts will be needed for the tune; verse, chorus and middle 8. The subject is one which most teens can identify with, unrequited love. I particularly like the symbolic use of nicotine. Could be a hit in the making.

The storyline is interesting and the line, "The Devil is on our side," is certainly unique and could offer an explanation for the Confederate defeat. Paradine's reaction to the book is comendable. As to the layout. You will need a tune for verse, chorus and middle 8. You might want to consider another 2 1/2 lines in the section before the last chorus so that the tune for the verse can be repeated here. Adding a fourth musical idea at this late stage will clutter the finished song.

The first line is excellent and you development is good. The word "rotten," is used frequently but its place in each verse is inconsistant. How about fixing it at a particular point or replacing it with different synonyms? Would it make a better title than Momentum? Lastly, how about beefing up ,"Smoke," in the last verse by adding a powerful adjective?

A very revealing experiment. It would make a good topic for a forum discussion or a "Letters to the Editor," column. Perhaps a more positive ending could be found by stating what American youth should do rather than what they should not. Critics would be better than criticals. Well done.

The two contrasting pictures of the cold desert and the warm bed, war and peace are well painted. "As I walk forward etc" adds suspense to the ending and makes the reader wonder if he will ever get home. The phrase, "peace with which you had," could be tidier. Very good.

This is very interesting and flows quite well. Reading this in isolation from the rest of the book, I found two points confusing. First, the cardinal. My first thought was of a cleric and only later did I realise that it was a bird. According to the dictionary, it has an alternative name, the Redbird. Would it be better to use that name? Regarding the story line I was puzzled as to why the spirit of Standing Bear should let her wander into deep waters without warning her of the danger? Perhap...

The piece forces the reader think about the meaning of each statement. Its meaning does however remain hidden. Perhaps combining it with the Sinner poem would make things more clear. "And lives by lies so true," is a great finish.

Considering the heroine knows risk of this spell I suggest including a sentence both exploring and dismissing alternative courses of action. The phrase, "The Novostone.... like a magical tuning fork." is attractive but a tuning fork gives you a fixed reference point so is it really an appropriate metaphor? Your final passage illustrates the sin and consequence of pride very well.