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JosephS's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: Port Saint Lucie, FL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 17
LOC: Port Saint Lucie, FL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 17
An amateur writer.
An eclectic spirit.
A man wise beyond his years.
-a man filled with hubris.
I’ve lived two lives and believe the latter suits me better than the former.
I’m a fan of well written prose.
Metaphors, allegories and similies both excite and move me.
I am enamored of eloquently written free verse.
I would appreciate any, and all, criticism of my writing.
Items
Version 2
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This door has been locked for longer than he can remember. The hinges have rusted and the knob is broken. Emotionally aloof, he tries it once more. Worries that were once prevalent, have now subsided. (but he knows understanding and orating are vastly different) [almost antitheses] Rancor has encompassed his mind for close to a decade. He would apologize for his antipathy, but should he? And to whom and for what? To strive for impeccability. The road to perfection lies just beyond this thresh...
Version 1
4 Reviews
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sunshine and clear skies, a pleasant break from the norm. I fear tomorrow.
Version 2
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A faint flicker of light dances in the distance; (dying dreams, hopes, aspirations) The track plays over and over in his mind; (broken promises and failures) He tells himself memory is a rote tool; (to make it through another day) [recorded there, bitter elegies of slate] Emotions masquerade, layering upon each other. [the core, though, remains unchanged] The clock strikes an undisclosed hour. [another mask is applied] He wonders... When will tomorrow come?
Version 2
4 Reviews
0 Comments
a gray horizon all God's creatures run and hide. despair surrounds us.
Version 1
6 Reviews
0 Comments
Green and yellow hues. A trout jumps; A bear catches. The world's senses peak.
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Reviews
An introspective look into the history of humor and it's various applications today. I thoroughly enjoyed this paper. Was it a thesis? This paper was eloquently written with a scholarly prospective. I found it interesting that some of these "street performers" are using humor and satire to raise provocative questions. What an interesting outlet to get a message across. Thanks so much for the great read!
An apt title. I might add a pair of commas in L2. L4 really hits home. Simple question, yet very powerful indeed. "And so, begins another day, alive with hope but with no promise. For a promise is sacred, a thing to keep, but I find already yet a yearning for another sleep." This is gold. The sing songy thing works for this particular piece. I'm not usually a fan of "rhyming" poems, but here I like it. You seem very familiar; Perhaps we've met?
Wow, strong poem. Acerbic even. I can still feel the stinging pejoratives. Very emotionally laced with enmity. I really enjoy poems of this nature (I guess that says a lot about me.) Thanks for the read.
A scored this a 10! Excellent conveyance of war time casualties. Dropping the names of some of the greats really worked for this particular piece. At first I didn't realize where you were going, but by the end it was more than crystal clear. Apt title. The only thing is maybe I would look at my punctuation towards the end. The last few commas are a bit cumbersome. But I can't find anything else I would change. A+! Thanks!
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