Jubilations's profile

Jubilations avatar
AGE: 16
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 07

7/4/08 – Hey there folks, Jubi here, Wishing every one in USA a happy fourth! I’ve been inactive for a while due to school and regular life but I hope to post some new things in the near future so look forward to it :)

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Short Story / I'm not Lisa
Version 1
13 Reviews   7 Comments
The first thing I noticed about the hospital was the color. The absolutely repulsing color. It was a pukey-green color and it was disgusting. It made ME want to puke. My stomach was already clenched into a tight knot already and the color was not helping. “Honey, a tonsillectomy is nothing to be worried about,” said my mom for the tenth time, stroking my blonde hair reassuringly. “I know,” I said. “Just think,” She rambled on, “No more sore throats when you get sick, you’ll be able to talk…” ...
Ratings & Rankings
Action Adventure / The Falcon
Version 1
11 Reviews   2 Comments
I rode quietly in my mother’s car as we drove at breakneck speed down the interstate. The car’s humming engine was the only sound and made for an extremely awkward noise after 20 minutes of silence. I looked passively out the window and noticed something strange in the trees flicking by my window. A shadow. Of course there are shadows in the woods at 6:00 in the evening…but this was a strange shadow. It had legs and it was running at a speed even with that of our car. 85 miles per hour. A bla...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Poetry / Night
I really enjoyed this and I really felt like I knew Night after this poem. I know a couple of guys i could put with this poem ;) I'm not exactly a grown-up but I try not to leave stupid reveiws, sorry if I offend you or anything...anyways, on to the critique. "...He is dark and wild like that of a Raven perched..." - Like what of a raven? I think it would read better if 'that' was omitted. "And you will wonder what he is. But you will never resign yourself to the fact that his darkness is a p...
Short Story / The Hot Messenger
I really liked this story. Bike messengers are a pretty cool topic to pick...I thought the whole piece flowed nicely and that the characterization was really well done. I had a prefect image in my head of everything that was going on at every point in the story. Wonderful job. The only question I have specifically, what's a "yuppie"? Suggestions for the re-write: "...all skin and spaghetti-strap tops or camisoles, designer sunglasses like black tiaras, knee-length and shorter skirts, mascara ...
Sci Fi & Fantasy / The Unwanted
I actually found that the whole thing worked quite nicely. I liked Nick and i thought he was pretty cool. I thought it flowed really well and I like how you subtly let us know what Nick looks like. I just wish there was a little more about the plot and what was going on in the whole story. I'm kind of wondering why it's under Sci-fi & Fantasy...? I can't wait to see where it goes after this! I'll be looking forward to the next Chapter!
Novel Treatments / Life After Naomi CH 1
I'm not really big on romance-y stuff, but your peice kept me reading and I found myself having to wait for the next page button to turn! I noticed a few misplaced commas and awkward sentances, but I've forgotten where they are...You can easily get a beta reader to clean those up for you. One slepping error i remember: "...and kissing every big of skin..." 'bit' All in all, a good story. Keep up your good work.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Favorites
ITEMS (2)

 

Sci Fi & Fantasy / The Womb
Short Story / Cupid

[ View all ]

People