Justice's profile
AGE:
15
LOC: Montevallo, AL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 10
LOC: Montevallo, AL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 10
twitch
I feel that I am in desperate need of an update… yet again.
YES! I HAVE A NEW WRITING PROJECT! I finished Freedom of Minds but then my computer crashed and burned and I did not have a thumb drive yet so it is all lost. tear. But now I am working on Juunigatsu Ame which is so much better written now that I am looking at it. The first chapter is already up (even though I will be adding more later) so you can go and look at it if you want… if you love me… pwease?
Items
Version 2
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I scribbled down the days notes in my notebook before slamming it shut. All around me my classmates were grabbing their bags and shutting down their laptops as they left the freshmen Biology class. Mrs. Blackwell was up a the front of the room reviewing the basics of cell structure with one of the slower students. Chatter surrounded me as I tried to block out Elizabeth and Jayne's ceaseless obsessing over the Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana. You'd think that they would be too old for that k...
Version 1
3 Reviews
1 Comment
Chapter One: Sweet Release Kirsa rested her back against a tree. Her sword pierced the soft ground between her outstretched legs as she set her chin on the hilt. The metal cap on the end was cool on her skin, a welcome feeling to her heated, sweaty face. Her breathing was hard and her limbs shook slightly. She gave the person responsible for her predicament a glare as he stood over her, smiling mockingly. “You really should train more on your own,” he told her mockingly. She gave him her best...
Version 2
12 Reviews
10 Comments
Chapter One: Rishu’s Demise Fire ate at the streets around the palace as if trying to find a way into the decorated building. The soldiers stood in shocked attention around the ramparts as they awaited their enemies’ arrival. The generals were too stunned to shout out any orders but, thankfully, their men weren’t going to be moving any time soon. They waited and soon were rewarded for their patience. A three pronged grapple was flung over the ramparts and caught onto the battlements. The men ...
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Reviews
Wow. You definitely managed to convey emotion. As the eldest daughter of three kids I feel very close to my dad and I cannot imagine life without him, even though I know it will happen one day. For something that has never happened to you I think that you did a magnificent job bringing this emotion out. For some reason I like the part where you describe the protagonist finding her father dead. Those few lines alone would be enough to break a readers heart if it were in a larger story where th...
This is quite beautiful. I like it very much especially the line "yearning for immortality on death's playground". The way you twine the words together is just so amazing. Yes, the reader does get the feeling of all hope being lost but you provide a glimpse of hope in the ending stanza. "Remember me, see my works of marble carvings and painted skies etched deep into the stone, 'I was here!'" These lines are gorgeous and they remind me very strongly of the poem Ozymandias of Egypt by P.B. Shel...
I don't know, pretty good, not really, no idea what you mean, yes, occassionally, I don't feel like it, and it is fun to talk to yourself, it means you will never be lonely.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
This sounds very interesing. There is a lot of good pictures that this brings to mind and I like how you put heavenly in the first line and brought back the ethreal feel in the third. Now on to grammer: 'heavenly ballet' Heavenly needs to be capitalized. 'reds blues greens dance at twilight.' Reds needs to be capitalized and there should be a comma between reds and blues and blues and greens. 'nature's fireworks,' Nature's should be capitalized. Other than that I like this alot and those are ...
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