Don't you ever wonder...those people who stock the lids...how can they not push the little buttons in? And why do we even NEED the buttons on there? To tell us what we're drinking? Hmmm...

Hm, you know, that kinda reminded me of a piano/harp kinda thing. Well, there was only one thing I noticed. When you put in a comma, the next line can't be capitals. But that's about it. I really liked it ^_^

I've never said this about any of the other poems I've ever reviewed: This is the worst poem ever. Haha, just kidding! ^_^ sorry if i scared you. It was great. So great, in fact, that you should consider this being made into a song. I can hear it now... But let's not get carried away; there are some things you need to fix. "is intoxicating me and suddenly I can't breathe" Me having it's own line in my opinion disrupts the flow. And now, even thought this is a poem, you must have some punctuat...

I thought that was really cute how you used the words of the alphabet. I think the title could be shortened up a little bit. I also found that some of the letters with the phrase didn't exactly make sense: "Q stand up?" It was kinda odd how you just stopped at 1, and didn't go on to 9. Sorry this is so short, but I guess there's nothing really to pick at here. It was hilarious.

I'm sorry that it took me so long to respond to your request, and that I couldn't read the whole thing, but I just couldn't concentrate. This is good, however I feel you use too many adjectives, and that tends to clutter the piece. I also noticed that in Page 9, you tend to use a lot of "the"s. It's hard, you but have to refrain from using the same sentence starter. "Presently, pebbles popped off between the pressure of the rubber..." You don't really need the 'presently' part. Just starting ...

Hehehe. That was...interesting? I don't know how to put it-- I'll have to come up with a new word for it O_o If you want to sound more professional in this piece, you might want to consider deleting all or at least some of the swear words. If you want to keep them, that's fine, but if you're ever going to revise this piece don't use any more than you have now, otherwise the piece will being tedious and unappealing. The starting of your piece, I'm not so sure about. Some people might say that ...

Confusing, yet interesting. Like I understand it, but not completely. "The secret style, dorian grey-imported-something-for-nothing ride that you hide..." The second line in here is kind of long and disrupts the flow. Also, I noticed that some of the words rhyme and others do not. Is this a rhyming piece or not? Trying to have the best of both worlds will disrupt the flow of your piece. All in all, I think it's good, it just needs a bit of tweaking :D

I thought it was a very funny piece. In the beginning, i think the part with the wart removal stuff gets a little bit off topic, however. Other than that, there's not much really to get at here. You're intro and your conclusion were just about perfect and your transitions between paragraphs were great. I think your strong point in this piece is your voice and your word choice. Those are great skills to have while writing. Just make sure you always have your audience captivated, or they'll lea...

I thought this was a very interesting piece of work you have. It uses good word choice and has great description words. I like the introduction; that was really great. However, I think the beginning of Chapter 1 needs a bit of work. "This is the story of..." is a line that has been used many times. When people hear this line, usually they shut down and just skim. Don't get me wrong; it's not like you should totally destroy the line, because i liked the line "a more or less ordinary man with a...

I thought this piece was very interesting. I liked the way you ended it. As i was sifting through it, i found some things you should change... On page one, "eating" is misspelled (you said "eatting") "This razor is for you mom for disappointing you and not always being there." you should put commas around "mom". So it would be, "This razor is for you, mom, for disappointing..." It's the same thing with "brother". ("This razor is for you, brother, for....") i don't really understand what the f...