Keaphyr's profile
AGE:
18
LOC: Selma, NC
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 26
LOC: Selma, NC
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 26
I’m a junior in high school. I love to act…acting and writing poetry are my passions. I also like to play guitar and sing.
I don’t watch television(it makes me feel stupid and gross)...I try to be as positive as I possibly can in all situations, positive vibes are neat :D…I love to be outside; I love to experience firsthand the interconnectedness we all have with everyone and everything around us.
Items
Version 1
10 Reviews
0 Comments
I cannot stand the waves of tedium emitting themselves (unconsciously) from the mouths of the blessed masses. Assailing my senses they tear at my heartstrings like the deceitful fingers of an impish harpist, (a) Monotone wind sears my lungs like flames (fire). Yearning for release my soul stamps its teeth and gnashes its cloven hooves Only to bring tears (sparks) to my Undernourished eyes.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
7 Reviews
0 Comments
I run my fingertips across the page. Lose myself in the inky blankness. The pulp, of each aromatically fresh page, leaves marks, (invisible), scars on my skin. And I breathe. (in) And I'm numb. (out) My thoughts seem disconnected; lost inside their futility. The words are lost; swallowed by their own importance. Dreams appear (phantoms) Sent to burn my eyes. And I breathe. (in) And I'm numb. (out) I can't find my shadow in the dark. But the sun will not hide my face. How I long for twilight. ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
I run my fingertips across the page. Lose myself in the inky blankness. The pulp, of each aromatically fresh page, leaves marks, (invisible), scars on my skin. And I breathe. (in) And I'm numb. (out) My thoughts seem disconnected; lost inside their futility. The words are lost; swallowed by their own importance. Dreams appear (phantoms) Sent to burn my eyes. And I breathe. (in) And I'm numb. (out) I can't find my shadow in the dark. But the sun will not hide my face. How I long for twilight. ...
Ratings & Rankings
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Reviews
There is a very good story here. I enjoyed reading this piece. My first reccomendation is one that you probably already know you should do: You should definitely proofread this. Some sentences (i.e; "Their clinking and clanking of armor..." would probably sound better as "The clinking and clanking of their armor..." or something similar). My second note is that some of the conversation seemed a little strange. I don't know exactly how to say it, but I didn't think it flowed like convincing co...
This seems like a great ending to some kind of epic narrative. The bit about God being schizophrenic is a nice twist, but without a source/beginning this is just a really well-developed paragraph (it sounds alot harsher than I mean it to). Amazing imagery though.
The story behind this is very interesting, but it just isn't layed out. This seems more like a review/synopsis of a book than an actual story. I would love to see a more in-depth look at the characters backgrounds, maybe even the story with Sapeds and John. One of the most important parts of a book/story is how the characters, the main characters at least, live their lives and/or change throughout the narrative. I was confused when you mentioned Andrew the Almighty. Who exactly is that? Even ...
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