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Kedyw's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: Vallejo, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 19
LOC: Vallejo, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 19
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Version 1
4 Reviews
3 Comments
This last summer, I visited one of my ancestral homes. The green, fog-covered plains and mysticism enshrouding the Northumbrian land is something unreal to behold. The wind stings at the face, and the eternal mystery shrouding the land a constant wonder. Setting foot on a land my family had left four-hundred years ago tends to shake the emotions a bit, and maybe wet the eyes a bit. The land itself is one like no other in the world, the lush greenery constant and beautiful due to daily showers...
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I think you have a good start to something that should be much longer. I tried to find some sort of pattern aside from lines, but I think that in order to find some sense of rhythm, lengthening would assist.
It took a few reads to catch the meaning, and I am probably not the first to say that your structure is indeed unique. I struggled with the last part moreso than the former, but this piece is something you could definitely develop into something very enjoyable. If you have any other work like this, I would not mind reading it at all. I've rarely encountered style like this, and really like it. For example, your reversal of common structure is very cool, and even though it took some time to wr...
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